"pissin'-in-the-alley"

"PISSIN'-IN-THE-ALLEY"

What follows are excerpts from the transcript of the People of the State of Michigan vs. Pun Plamondon, the famous Pissing in the Alley case, which took place September 24, 1969 in Ann Arbor.

THE COURT: The People against Lawrence R. Plamondon, CR-2044.

MR. KOSTER: Ready, Your Honor. Donald E. Koster appearing for the defendant.

MR. SHEA: Thomas F. Shea, Assistant Prosecuting Attorney, appearing in behalf of the People of the State of Michigan.

THE COURT: You may proceed.

MR. SHEA: Thank you, Your Honor. The People call Officer Cook.

DANIEL COOK, a witness appearing in behalf of the People herein, after having first been duly sworn by the Court to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, testified as follows:

Direct examination by Mr. Shea:

Q: Please state your full name, sir.

A: Daniel G. Cook.

Q: By whom are you employed?

A: City of Ann Arbor, Ann Arbor Police Department.

Q: By what capacity?

A: Patrolman.

Q: Were you so employed on the 12th day of July, 1969?

A: Yes, sir, I was.

Q: Now, sir, would you tell us where you were at or about 1:15 a.m. on that date?

A: I was in the one-hundred block of West Washington Street here in the city.

Q: What were you doing there, sir?

A: We were on routine patrol.

Q: Did you have occasion at or about 1:15 a. m. to see the defendant, Lawrence Plamondon, and if so, where?

A: Yes, sir, I did. He was in the alley-way that runs off the one-hundred block of West Washington.

Q: What was the defendant doing in the alley at the time that you saw him?

A: He was urinating.

Q: Now, sir, would you tell us exactly what you observed?

A: He had his privates out and was standing by a wall near his car which was in the alley, and he was urinating on the pavement. I looked over and seen him standing there; as I walked over I observed this. I went right up to the defendant. I was about, oh, three foot away before he was done.

Q: What, if any, attempt did he make to place his privates back in his clothing?

A: Once he saw me, he put it back in his pants.

Q: Now, sir, would you tell us what you mean by 'privates.'

A: His penis.

Q: Your witness.

Cross examination by Mr. Koster:

Q: Now, officer, would you draw for me Washington Street and the alley as accurately as you can?

A: (Draws as instructed on yellow pad.)

Q: Officer, would you designate north and south on that for me ? I see. And I take it this street is Washington Street, is that correct?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: I see. And I take it that this street or alley here at right angles is the alley in question. Is that correct?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: And you say you heard someone urinating. Is that correct?

A: That's correct.

Q: I see. I imagine you've had occasion to hear people urinate before. Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: You hear people urinate quite often probably.

A: On occasion.

Q: I see. What does it sound like?

A: It sounded like a liquid hitting the pavement.

Q: I see. Does urine have a particular sound, officer?

A: Not to my knowledge, sir.

Q: I see. So what you heard was the sound of water. Is that correct?

A: That is correct.

Q: So you didn't really hear the sound of urination, you heard the sound of water. Is that right?

A: Well, a substance like water. Liquid, yes.

Q: I see. Did you get a sample of that liquid, officer?

A: No, sir.

Q: I see. Did you test that liquid at all, officer?

A: By smell.

Q: I see. You got down to the ground and smelled it? Is that what you did?

A: No, sir. I didn't have to get down very far. I could smell it.

Q: Oh, do you have an extraordinary sense of smell?

A: I couldn't say that.

Q: I see. Are you an expert on the smell of urine by any chance, officer?

A: No, sir.

Q: Smelled a lot of urine?

A: I guess I've smelled urine.

Q: A great deal of urine. Haven't you smelled a great deal of urine, officer?

A: An average amount of urine.

Q: I see. Is that an average for the normal person or for the normal Ann Arbor policeman?

A: For the normal person.

Q: I see. Now, officer, would you say all urine smells alike?

A: I would have to say yes.

Q: It does. It all smells alike, right?

A: As I can recall, yes.

Q: And this smells just like all the rest of the urine you've ever smelled.

A: Yes, sir.

Q: I see. You didn't taste it to find out if it was salty or not, did you, officer?

A: No, sir.

Q: I see. Now, you claim that you saw what you call his privates. Is that correct, officer?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: I see. And I take it by that you mean penis, is that right?

A: That is correct.

Q: You aren't referring to his testicles, are you?

A: That is correct.

Q: Just his penis, right?

A: Yes. Q: Would you describe that for me, officer?

A: Tube made of skin.

Q: I want you to describe Mr. Pla...

THE COURT: (Interposing) That's satisfactory counsel.

Q: Officer, is Mr. Plamondon circumcised?

A: I couldn't tell you.

Q: But you said you saw it.

A: I couldn't tell you whether he's circumcised or not.

Q: Do you know what circumcision is?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: Have you ever seen anyone who wasn't circumcised?

A: Yes.

Q: You know the difference?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: But it's your testimony that you couldn't tell whether Mr. Plamondon was or wasn't circumcised, is that correct?

A: I don't recall whether he was or not.

Q: Maybe you didn't get that close a look at a penis, did you, officer? (pause) Answer me, officer.

A: I'm sorry. I didn't know you asked a question.

THE COURT: Counsel, the witness has answered that he doesn't recall.

Q: Where were you when you saw him urinate, officer?

A: Well, when I was in the patrol car I heard the noise; I seen him standing there and, as I approached, before I got to the sidewalk, I could see him urinating. And I approached him from there.

Q: How far away were you, then, officer, when you saw him urinating, before you got to the sidewalk? How far would that be?

A: Oh, probably twenty feet.

Q: I see. This was in the very early morning, correct?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: The street lights were on.

A: Yes, sir.

Q: I see. How large was this penis that you could see lt at that distance, officer?

A: Average length, I would say.

Q: What was that, officer ?

A: I'd just seen his hand hang on to his penis. I couldn't estimate as far as inches go.

Q: I see. Officer, now, could you describe the grip he had on it for me?

A: No, sir.

Q: I see. You don't know if he was holding it daintily with two fingers or holding it very well with his whole hand; you don't know that, right?

A: No, sir.

Q: I see. But you're sure you saw a penis there; is that right, officer?

A: That's correct.

Q: Absolutely sure.

A: Yes, sir.

Q: I see, Now, officer, how long would you say it took you from the time you heard this urination until you got to the front of the car?

A: I'd say at the most maybe fifteen seconds. Q: Fifteen seconds, I see. And you heard this urination all the time. Is that correct, officer?

A: That is correct.

Q: I see. Officer, you testified earlier that there were a lot of automobiles on that street. Isn't that correct?

A: I said there was quite a bit of traffic, yes.

Q: I see. Was this traffic making any noise like engine sounds, or anything like that?

A: I would assume so.

Q: I see. But you didn't hear it do that. Is that correct?

A: I would imagine that I heard some of it.

Q: I see. Would you consider Mr. Plamondon to be a loud urinator?

A: I don't know, sir. I could hear it from inside my car.

Q: You could. I see. Your car was in which lane of traffic?

A: The closest lane to the alley except for the parking lane.

Q: Except for the parking lane. I see. But you could hear it. Is that right?

A: That is correct.

Q: With traffic on the street.

A: That is correct.

Q: OK, now, could you answer my question? Do you consider Mr Plamondon to be a loud urinator?

A: I... 

MR. SHEA: Your Honor, I object to that unless counsel defines his term. The question is what is a loud, a light or soft urinator. . . why, he leaves the officer in an impossible position to answer the question . . .

MR. KOSTER: (Interposing) If it pleases the Court,

MR. SHEA: (Continuing) He should have a decibel rating, possibly, as to loud urinators and soft urinators.

MR. KOSTER: Your Honor, I would suggest to the Court that it appears to me that there is not one whit of evidence that shows knowledge on the part of the defendant that he was doing something criminal; there's not one whit of evidence that this was open or indecent. The police officer has testified that there was no one else around except for the defendant's wife. I would suggest to your Court. . . to you, Your Honor. . . I would suggest, Your Honor, that under no stretch of the imagination do the facts, as presented in this Court, show an open and indecent exposure on the part of this defendant.

MR. SHEA: It's rather difficult to concede, Your Honor, that the defendant didn't have knowledge of what he was doing. No testimony that anybody else was assisting him. Also, with respect to being open and indecent exposure, we have an officer in a patrol car who could see him while he was moving down Washington Street in a westerly direction. Anyone that was on the sidewalk - and there is testimony that there were people on the sidewalk - could also see him and, presumably, anyone else who may have been in a car and happened to glance that way could see him.

THE COURT: In this matter, the Court having heard the testimony - although there is some indication of an exposure, all the elements of the crime of an unnecessary, open, indecent, knowing exposure, the Court will dismiss the complaint and warrant in this matter.

MR. KOSTER: Thank you, Your Honor.

THE COURT: Defendant is discharged from recognizance.

(Whereupon the matter was concluded.)