Alternative Smokes!

The U.S. Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs reported this week that it has been unable to find anything illegal about a plant nicknamed "Montana Green", which reportedly makes smokers high. A spokesman for the Narcotics Bureau confirmed that samples of "Montana Green" had been forwarded from Montana police officials to the Bureau's drug laboratories in both Washington, D.C. and San Francisco. Lab researcher Claude Roe said that tests for THC--the active ingredient in marijuana-- "were negative. " "The plant appears to contain no THC whatsoever," Roe explained. He added that the lab had also tested for various common chemical plant sprays--namely "PCP," an illegal hallucinogenic drug--but that these tests were also negative. The Bureau spokesman said that "Montana Green" apparently contains no psycho-active drugs that are presently classified illegal. "Montana Green" was discovered several weeks ago by pólice in Billings, Montana, who busted a 17-year-old youth after he sold 3 pounds of the "Green" to undercover agents. Police were startled to learn that they had purchased, not three pounds of marijuana but a quantity of weed known locally as "silver weed. " Silverweed is a wild-growing plant, found at high altitudes all over the Rocky Mountains. Montana smokers insist that the flowers and leaves of Montana Green, when smoked like marijuana, will make you higher than an equivalent amount of grass will. They report that strong doses of "green" will actually cause users to hallucinate. Green was selling as "marijuana" at a price of $15 a lid. But ever since word leaked out that the dope was actually a simple weed, the price per lid dropped to $. 50. Government drug officials report that once a chemical which causes the apparent high is isolated, they can easily add the plant's name to the evergrowing illegal drug list. If anyone has available samples of this interesting herb, please bring it by the Rainbow Peoples Party House so we can check it out, too.