Cr Groups For Men

CR Groups for Men

The male response to feminism, among those who accept its legitimacy, usually began with an expression of support and private denial of guilt. Eventually, due to the force of the movement, we were pushed to a confrontation on a personal level with our roles as oppressors and custodians of oppression. But if there was a flaw in this development. it was that, in the oppressor/oppressed dichotomy, it tended to reinforce our self-image as -- lucky for us -- unoppressed. That, of course, is bullshit.

Thanks in large part to the example women have set in rejecting traditional roles, men have finally begun to question their own roles as men, along with the doubts and alienation attendant to those roles. And there are lots of questions: what is this "man" I'm supposed to be, and why am supposed to be him? why do I have to act "together" when l'm not? why can't I cry? why am I hounded by goals? why don't I quite feel good about going out with other men? why am I scared of gayness? why don't I do anything about my loneliness? why do I feel threatened by the warmth and affirmation my wife/woman-friend draws from her CR experience? why don't my politics reach into my personal relations? why do my discussions of "personal" issues become so abstract? why are my relationships with other men so competitive, so devoid of real intimacy, so restricted to specified spheres of maleness (the bar, the gym, the job), why am I uncomfortable with small children? why, after all, should my being a man keep me from anything?

These are important questions, questions we must deal with if we are truly serious about growing into complete human beings. Unfortunately, many of us are struggling with them alone, feeling our experience is unshared. It is not, and the doubts about ourselves and our roles as men cannot be resolved singly; we must penetrate and combat our oppression collectively.

One important medium for this struggle. thanks again to the example of the women, is the consciousness-raising group. Our group, which has been gathering weekly since September, has been an important part of each of our lives, sometimes the focus of change, sometimes peripheral, but consistently a touchstone to new levels of awareness.

We began as eight men mostly unknown to each other, growing over the months through silence, turbulence, anxiety and the energy of its release, to an intimacy and shared warmth that makes us feel good at the sight of each other. We have persistently, though probably sporadically dealt with difficult issues: gayness (half of us are gay), touching. masturbation, vanity, friendship, family, sexuality. We have employed a range of exercises, some useful, some not. We have felt exhilarated. We have felt vacant. We have supported each other through bad times. But most of all, we have penetrated the traditional male role enough to relate to each other openly and constructively. And we are by no means finished.

The positive experience of our group has led us to begin organizing more of them; we are convinced that many men feel the need for a CR experience, but haven't known where to turn.

Though there are a few men's groups scattered through the community, organization and communication have been practically nonexistent; there has been no consistent forum for men's issues. Our fantasy is to change all that. Most issues are pertinent to all men; some are more relevant to a particular male experience: married, divorced, single, gay, straight. Regardless of where you might place yourself, a men's CR group is potentially a positive force in your life. If interested in more information call Brian or Ken at 663-3487, or Craig at 665-3268. --Church Street Men's Collective