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The Newport Alive With Pleasure Guide

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■ How to get ■ ■ pleasure I ■ front f ight shoes ■ Tight shoes can really be a laugh, that is if they're on someone else's feet. When tight shoes are on your feet, keep in mind: Èk fc a)They'llkeepyoursockspressed. L VÜ b) They'll make the blood rush to %M your head, and you'll look (T jÊ Brl like you've been to Florida. 3LOv - W c) They'll aid agriculture, your K é_Êi { corns wit] flourish. MSËk- d ) They'll teach your toes the true &j%L fSrM meaning of togetherness. W [Vs I And remember, tight shoes are always better LI ]i) I I than tight shorts. - II 4inNewport'sTbngue-in-CheekSeriesB Warning: The Surgeon General Has Deiermined I That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. I I