The Inside Dope

It was bad enough workin' for one o' the dailies years ago an' havin' their fecal matter smeared in my face every day, but t' have th' journalistic whores at The News questionin' The Sun's "credibility" these days makes a sane person want t' puke.
I'm talkin' about a character name o' Fred Girard, who spent his second-page column one day last week decryin' the investigative stories The Sun's been runnin' lately-like the Sexpionage tales that our West Coast editors, Michael Castleman and Donald Freed, have been feedin' The Sun along with a bunch o' other papers around the country.
Accordin' t' Mr. Girard, 'The Sun is in imminent danger of losing whatever small amount of credibility it now holds in the spectrum of Detroit journalism"- an' all because o' th' "whole silly schtick about the CIA and Machiavellian plots and the Kennedy assassination and Bebe Rebozo . . . and on and on and on."
Now if the front pages o' Mr. Girard's newspaper an' those o' his competitors at th' Free Press weren't filled right now with the news o' the reopenin' o' the Kennedy-King assassination investigations- spurred by the work o' independent investigators from the Citizens Committee o' Inquiry an' other such groups that Mr. Girard cites as "geeks"- there might be some point t' his remarks.
It can't help but sound like sour grapes t' anybody with any sense, however, an' th' folks we know have started wonderin' why young Fred is so dead set against this kind o' investigative reportin' which has pulled th' covers off the hitherto sacrosanct FBI, CIA, government officials o' all stripes an' th' establishment press itself.
Did Fred used t' work for the CIA? Nixon? Ford? Does this chump have somethin' o' his own t' hide? Or is he just tryin' t' make a fool o' himself for all th' world to see?
Talkin' about credibility, how is it that any writer for The News can have the nerve t' squawk about somebody else after th' infamous Mike McCormick Memo o' last June 8? Y'all remember, th' one where th' editor o' the front page o' The News said they were "aiming our product at the people who make more than $18,000 a year and are in the 28-40 age group . . . Notice I said suburban."
McCormick started breathin' harder when he got t' th' meat o' it: "You'll see what I want: 'Nun charged with killing her baby', 'Prison horrors revealed', They chummed together-and died together' . . . just the horrors that are discussed at suburban cocktail parties."
For somebody concerned about th' "credibility" o' th' local press, young Fred wasn't seen t' pop into print with a disclaimer dissociatin' himself from The News. He's still in there pitchin' t' th' suburban set every day, tryin' t' lay in there where th' $18,000-plus folks lay, jus' givin' 'em what they wanna hear.
That's a good boy, Fred. Th' next time yer worried about The Sun, take a quick look in th' mirror before you start shootin' off yer fat mouth. An' by th' way, thanks for speliin' our name right!