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II t wasn't enough that John Dean had to snitch out his boss back in '74 and get Nixon ultimately bounced from office beliind the Watergate fiasco. Now he", got Agriculture Secretary Earl "No Maka Da Rules" Butz on his way back to the agribusiness industry with a report on the famous American philosopher-humorist in a recent Rolling Stone, where Dean was making his rocR-journalism debut with a sort of drugless Hunter S. Thompson report on the Republican National Convention in Kansas City, if you know what I mean. In the story, Dean has himself riding the plane back from California with a sleeping Sonny Bono and a wide-awake Pat Boone, who buttonholes Butz with an earnest question concerning the future of the GOP: how can the party of Lincoln, asks the white bucks boy, convince more blacks to vote the Nixon-Ford-Dole ticket? Butz- not identified in the story by Dean but every bit his reputed self- explains that there's no chance the "coloreds" will go Republican 'cuz there's only three things they want : a tight pussy , some loose shoes, and a warm place to shit. Hyuk, yuk, yuk. After New Times reported that Butz was indeed the speaker of the dread remarks, President Ford began the weighty job of determining whether Butz had "undercut his effectiveness" with the scurrilous slurs or whether he could be left in office long enough to help Ford with the farm vote in next month's election. Wliat's even funnier is the news media's refusal to print the Butzian humor intact, referring instead to his "obscene, derogatory and scatalogical terms" (Free Press) and to his "derogatory manner" in characterizing the "sexual . dress and bathfoom predilections" of the "coloreds" (News). One would think that the Republicans could come up with a better award for such an eloquent statement of the views of their leadershipmaybe the Nelson Rockefeller Award for Truth & Soul Unlimited, which was dedicated a couple weeks ago as the Vice-President stood chatting with Cari Albert near an open microphone at a state reception for the president of Liberia. Rocky pointed out Senator Ed Brooke, the nation's only black senator and a Republican to boot, as a "oneman welcoming committee" for the Liberian chief of state and noted that Brooke would "be a slave" under the Liberian regime. Well, like Spiro Agnew (reniember him?) used to say- you've seen one ghetto, you've seen 'em all. Speaking of the candidates and their friends, isn't it a siglit to watch the hubbub over Jirrimy Carter's Playboy interview? The'guy gets up and cops to his lustful desires for certain of his fellow humans, I sending all the Victorian moralists in the media to tsking and pontificating over the 'statements' possible effect on his political candidacy. I At the same time reports in this newspaper and elsewhere have revealed the incredible sexual peccadilloes of President Kennedy and his "Camelot" gang, who were depicted as lily-white and pure because I they paid lip service to the Roman Catholic purity routine. Jimmy in realityisiprobably as monogamous as they come, but in the media it's what one says that counts, and how close one comes to rending the veil of hypocrisy and 1 9th-century Euro "morality" which the news media are charged with keeping up around the affairs of state. PARTING SHOTS: We love the Free Press' new Dateline format on page 4-just when we dropped our Hot Spots feature, too. It's a good lesson in viewing world events from a right-wing perspective, and we're certainly flattered to see The Sun's old news-front format live on ... In the same vein, it was nice to see T.V. LoCicero's wrapup on the lOth Precinct Conspiracy Trial in Detroit magazine recently-too bad they didn't have him covering it the first time around, almost a year ago, when he was known as Pamela Johnson while reporting the city's longest Recorder's Court trial for-that's right- The Detroit Sun. O