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Poetry: The Duel

Poetry: The Duel image
Parent Issue
Day
29
Month
August
Year
1842
Copyright
Public Domain
Additional Text

Modeled after William Cowper's comic ballad "The Diverting History of John Gilpin" (1782), this ballad satirizes the so-called "Duel That Wasn't" between Secretary of State Henry Clay and Senator John Randolph on April 8, 1826.

Poem
OCR Text

[We hnd the folio win?, publishcd, M-irch 24, 1830, in the Philanthropist and Invesiigator. It is from the "Reniains of Samuel B. Parris. M. D." As it seems to suit the present duellin g times, wegive it to our readers without fjjrther preface.] THE DUEL. Attend, olí ye of high degree, And 'ekc of lower stanon, And hear me sing a wondrous thing T.hat happened in our nation. ;conie time, ngo, I'd have you know, John Ilandolph gol to spouting; vWith dirty stuff, lie sure eiough, Friend Henry Ciay wasflouting. With gibes ardjukes, these honcst folkc, As fast as they were able, Kickcd up a row, I know not haw, But mark ye, 't is no fable. ."II. Clay,'' Esq., rose up in ire, lie did not mean to budge on, ■Nor would submitto suffer it, But took it in high dudgeun. Jlesent ihat nighta note polite, (In hopes to wash his stnins out) And wrote ihereon, requesting John To come and blow his brains out. John 8tretched his limbs and cnlled for 'Tirns,' Or for sóme otlicr servant, Jle scarce cuuld speak - his henrt wa3 wpaji- Til! por ter put somc nerve in 't. He quickly quaffed a thrce pint draught, Which to his spunk was fuel; Then did he write that he would fight A duel - "Ycs, sir" - duel. J'll teil you why Clay got so high, Wlien he before got stuííy, Kremer, he found. would stand his ground Much better than M'Duffie. 'Clny threated thathe'd hnve a spat, But seeing Krerncr'shuge cye - Jie da'ed not do, Caesar, liko you, But "vcni, tidi.fugi." This bronght 11 fame on his great name, And now (would you believe il?) -He swore he 'd try - survive or die - Some method to retrieve t. Ilalidolph and Ciay went out next day, And on the ground paraded - O! had the longue of Homer sung TfVhat mighty wonders they did! Thcy paced rhe ground, :hen both turned;rpund, Theirseconda they were whist all, And they laid hold with fingers cold,Each one upon his pistol. When thus prepared they were sonieccared - Yct stood thcy in their places; "VVell might they be afra:d to see Each other's palé "dough faces." But Clay ete long waxed brave andstrong, Plis heart feit raiher bigger - At once he put his fingers to 't. And boldly pulled the trigger. 'Whiz went the ball - it scareJ tbem all, But no man tumbled down, Sir; And safe and sourd. the bn!l was found, Well lodgcd in Jonny'sgo.wn, Sir. t 'Then Johnny soon fired at the moon, Bccause, (if right I scan it) ?IIe ihrn 'gan sec, with grief, thathe Was governed by ihat planot. And in good iroth, he was much wroth, And incant revengo to talce. Sir. rTo think she would, in wanton mood, For him such trouble aiake, Sir. fNow np camo Cluy, as light as day, With couni'nanoebright and shining, ,(For whizzing lend hbont ons's hea.d ís mighty reconciling.) "We've made amends, nndlei's bc friends, For it Were most unjucky, If I had died. the flower and pridt?, Of my own dear Kentucky. "And my bra ve lad, I'm very glad, For honest oíd Virginia, Which, Ibcüeve, would sorely grieve, At loss of such a - ninny. "Ifyou told fi!)s, this firing squibs, Makes ampie recantation; If you spoke true - I 've fircd at you, So pray respect my station. "Then here 's a hand my trusty friend, And gi' 'a a hand o' thine Sir, And we "11 take a right good fill to night, For days of auld lang syno. Sir "Said John, ''Content" - soóffthey wem - Encli one to his own qiinrter - Clny. as 't is guesséd, toplayat whist, And John to gct somc portcr. Now let us sny - Longlive friend Clay, And Johnny - Long live he. Sir. And whcn thcy ne.t get thus perplexed, May webe therc to seo, í.'ir.