Miscellany: Marriage And Celibacy Compared

There are tlioso who dislilte mairiige.- - Tlieir tloctrir.e is, to have 110 bonds of rnatrimony al all, tuit to let all the individuáis of our world aesociate together, as ihey alease - forming and changing companionships as they deern expedient - without ceremony, or instmction, or restruint of law - k, thcn, othfcrs wou ld have the world go on as t docg, marrying- nnd giving in marriage, all but the nuns ahd the priests, - others, siill, witliout being tinctured af. all with these view., have serL ons doubts vvhether the single state is not, after al!, the preferable condition, and whether it may not truiy be tenned the state of highest blesserlness. They have looked al the scènes of domestic strife, which human socie"ty sometimos exhibit; they have seen the unprovided children of thriftless and laborious pórents- they have witnessed the care worn countenances of hard pressed heads of families - they have gazed on the wife, once lovely nnd caressed now dispirited nnd in loathsome wretchedness, linked, peihaps, by a drunken husband, to perpetual poverty and disgrace - and they have belicld Üic mail, who was once umong the most promising of all their associate?, now sitting in rags on the door-elone of his own habitation, scorned and orest broken forever, by the fingernaiis and abusive tohgue of that very woman, who, on her wedding da}', was considered almost an angel,- All this and mtich more, havo they witnessed, until they seriously apprehend, that this whole business of tvedlock isa most haznrdous operatiom Much more do they doubt and hesitatc, and postpone, when they thmk of their own resources, contrasted with theing additional expense?, ever atlcndant, as tltcy imagine, upon the marringe establisment. NoWj we shall not dcny, that there are vix en, slattering, vvorthless, tormenting wives - filled wifh novéis, and romantic love, flourisSing in smiles nnd gay apparel in the dance, and Ihe fashionable party, andthen, drooping like a wilted cabbage leaf, at homo, impuro, nnd disgiistino"- with rlomestic duties neglected, and family in upronr. Nor shall we deny, that 1he Loids of Creafion may sometimes be fouiK?, in the shape of hup bands, equally detestable - ruling with a rod of ron, in the family circle - harsh, abtisive, improvident - )rofiigate - magnificent in speech, but minute n every good qnnlity of a human being. Nor ïliall we afTirm, at all, that want, aflliction, nisftH-tunc, and unhappiness, arising from otlicr sources, where both husband and wife have estimable character., ncver carne with in the limits of the marriaffe condition.Sin and suffering, to no liítle extenf, secm to be the coinmqn inheriiance of man, howrverhe exists, since t lie transgression of Eden. Fix yourselves as yon piense, on earth, and we n assnre yon, there wil! be more or less of f he undesirnble about the state of your affairs, Üntil tlie miHenium comes - and it is well for you to remember, when making your choice nmong the various modes of living1 on the footstool, that every one of thetn have tlieir own defects. If there are things about the marringfi state, which give you the horrors, as you look thern in the face- eo likewise, mav hideous features be found. in the state of single blessedness. Show meacrest-fallen, crooked, squaüd, and miserable husband - hen-pecked and in perpetual disaster, and I will show you an oíd bachelor somewhere to match him; wilhered and 6elfish, and dissatisfied - nervous; eccentric; censorious; precise; proflígate per., haps, in want and woc - bartered nnd pccked by every living thing in the streets, with none to sympathise witli him in his trials, or to sustain him under his afflictions. He bccomcs to himfelf ihe object of his own idolatry - for himself he livos, and moves, nnd has his being. No vvife- no child shares his nffliction, orcreates within him the spirit of enterprif-e. To clothe, and feed and shelter, and comfort hiniself is the object supremo of his anxieties. His room, and dress, his food, and histure, must all beadjnsted precïsely to his wishes - not a stich nor n wrinkle most be neglectcd, - you must cook his meat neither too rnuch, nor too little, - his drink must be neither too sour, nor too sweet, - his bed must bc aircd, and warined, and smooihed to pcrfcction - even your own speech nnd personal ap-' pearonce, to he last iota, must be ordered arigh't before him - your very chüdren, in his prcsrnce, must be trim, precise, quaint, demure, and most reverentinl. Ilimself is the sun of the firmament, and around him all things must revolve in their own appropriatc orbits. Now euch a being as we have described seldom grows in goods - he makes tow ndvances in property - he has no one to support but himsclf, as he thinks. The incentive to exertion which exist? in a husband and a father's rnind s, therefore, a slratiger to him,- he can always, os he imagine, tnke care of number one, nnd therefore, he will nol waste himself away wiih overmuch toil, nor lay up treasures t'or the future. He spends as he goes, nnd obeys the biblc in one respect, most conimlly- permitting the morrow to take cato of itself, -Thus does he live during the first years of his active lite, until youth be gone, and the hab■ lts of a life of seliish single blessedness gather around tiü'u'. And then, with all hB wants, so ntimerous and expensivo, it costs more to support him in his loneliness, than nn ordinary lamily would consume. The very attentions le then (Jcmands, coming from those who live in the married condiJon, are proofs overwhelming of the high importance of that state of society. After all his paina to escape the burthefis of a family establishment, he is compelied, by the very lavvs of his being, to sustain thetn, and that, too, without any of their joys. Old Bachelors do not live alone - they belong1 to families, and they have to do their proportion in footing the bi1!; and, if we understand the voice of community on the subject, it is both cheaper ard pleasanler lo provide for the wants of a father and mother, with fifteen children nppended to them, among whoni you can move free and joyous, wilh such help ns they oan afford you, than it ia to satisfy ail the (Iemands of one single old bachelor, such as we have selected for our present contemplatione, who, we are willing to adnnt, is a very bad specimen of his kind, but no worse than these specimens of the marraige state to which we tire so ofien referred by old Bachelors themselves, in justifieation of their mode of living. Let us exist, we sar, omong green and growing things rather than autumn leaves and frozen fruit. And, then, we can find for you among the old maids of our world, a match pretty equal in ugliness to any cross -gruined, offenseive témale in the married state. We now refer to the ono who has coqnetted away her youth, spurning all oilers of marriage as they were then presented. but now wrinkled and woebegone vith borrowed. locks and painted cheeks, doing up courtEhip for others - her own being ended- flirting, and fidgetimr, andfinding fault through lifc, with aches, and groans, and wanls inccssant. Now contrnst the father, no matter how offensive, witli such an cld Bachelor - and then bring the mot lier, however disagreeable, into comparison with the old maid w e have contemplated, in nll her faded glories, and then make 6election of your lot for lile. Most firmly are we convinced that this üfe of single blessedncss, such as we have described, would have been more approorintelv named, had it been cnlled a hfe of multiplied cursedness - a state of unnatural, unnecessary and unuUerable woe - tending to HcentiousnesB and selfisnness supreme - drying up the best fountain springs within ns, and resulting in ridicule and ruin eternal. AU this fear of being unablr to supply the wants of yon r (anules - like thfi trepidation of the soldier, as he approaches the foe, will pass away, as the engagement waxes warm .por and ft ar goes off, as the battle goes on and a thousnnd nameless, and noble emotions are awakened within you. Neither the richest, nor happiest, nor greatest, nor most useful men have belonged to the barren race of these blasted fig trees. Never did God blefs us, ourselves, so abundnnfly, in basket and in store, ns vhen we obeyed his own laws of nature, and of inspiration, and beca me, as Bishops are bonnd to do, the husbund of a single wife. Before then we spent, and gave. until nothing was left. Since then, we have given, even more abundantly than ever, and yet, wr have increased in g oode, until, per,hops, now, with nll our expetuiitures, we have an ampie sufiïciency; and tbis, by no rheans, is a solitary instance. What old Bachelor can soy more than this If we mistoke not, these very family-ridden fathers, do vast!y more in keeping the breath of life in the bodies of the unmarried old ones of the World, than single blessedness is accuslomcd to acknowledgo. Of one tiiing we may rrst assured, which is, that the marriage state is sanctioned, if not enjoined .in the bible. Marriage says the mspircd writer, is honorable in all. There is nothing wrong, nor inconsistent, nor injurious about it- nothing of which we ouaht to Uph, or be ashamed. Tt is not only tobe permitted and endurecí, but it is absolutely an honorablr, estimable nffiir nn#l ;i i. i,nnA.bic ín all, when they have arrived at the suifable nge, and are in circumstances to warrant the connexion. Popish Priests and prívale citzens, alike, deerve our praise, when thcy act in this respect, according to the laws of nature, and of God. Cfirist himsclf was present at ihe nuptials of Cana n GalüJee, and he sanctioned the performance by rontributing to the feKtivities of that occasion. Break up the marriage relation, and human society wil! cease to exisr, or it will exist, like the beasts ofthe field, in greatest wan', and wildest disorder. Man, without this relation, usually, notalways, turns into a miser, ora misanthrope. or a proíl'igíUe. Ue knows nothing of a father's feeling's- nothing of u !mSbaud's joys- his heart withers, and freezes in its loneliness, or it is filled with selfish and sensual emotions - and when sickncss, or old age overtakes him, hethen comes for warmth, and nourif-hment and vilali ty, to those domestic fires, which hehas labored so hard to extinguish. That there have been lives of useftilness spcnt in the unmarricd siate, wc slmJl notdeny- and thnt individuáis in this condition have enjoyed a good degree of happiness, and have been eminent for virtue, we are ready to admit, (such os Newton, and Irving, and Hannah Moore.) But they, we believe, belong to the exception, and not to the general rule. Their condition contributes, we think, neither to their joys, nor their usefulnees. They were single, nnt from cfioice, but because circumstances above their control prevé nted their union. They were happy and good, in spite of their lonelincss. Notwiihstanding the singleness of their atate, they becanie virtuous, and in their virtues they found their reward. And here we have a Icsson, of iwost w holesome character, for tbose who are withheld by the provid.enccs of God from connubial felicities. You may gire yourselves up to the practice of virtue- you may devote all y our days to tiseful and benevolent employment. in your single state, and by so doing yon will secure on ampie compensation. The fountain springs of joy, in thia wa)', will be kept fnll and overflowing forever. But this exception furnishes no nrgumenl whatevcr against the general rule; marriage, notwilhstanding your case, may be the natural, and honorable, and best estáte for human beings on earth.