Identifying Partner Abuse
Television, newspapers, our friends, and our family are constantly informing us of the horrors committed against women on the streets.
They tell us that we shouldn't go out at night alone. They tell us that when we are at home, we should look our doors and not open them to strangers. But it is not true that women are safe when they are locked away at home with friends and family.
A recent study cited by the U.S. Attorney General 's Office reported that more than 50% of women in the U.S. admit to having experienced violence at the hands of an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. In 1987 violence against women by their intimate partners resulted in more injuries that required medical treatment than rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined. From May to October of 1988, there were 200 reports of domestic violence to the police in Ann Arbor alone - a number that does not include unreported incidents.
Domestic violence occurs in families of all races, religions, ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds. Domestic violence occurs when one person is in a position to have power over an intimate partner and chooses to use that power to control that person. Domestic violence occurs when one partner is scared of the other and finds themselves adapting their behaviors to lessen the fears.
People in our society are generally taught that if they have power, they should use it. Power in our society has traditionally belonged to men, and according to the Domestic Violence Project SAFE House of Washtenaw County, 95% of batterers are men. Women very rarely have power over men, and because of this it is very rare that men are battered by women. One situation in which a woman may be a batterer is if her partner has a disability. In this situation, the power society gives her as a person who is temporarily able-bodied may outweigh the power society has given him as a man. Another situation in which a woman may be a batterer is when her partner is another woman. In cases of lesbian battering, as in the first situation, the power the batterer is abusing comes from a source other than that of male dominance. Battering occurs in lesbian, gay male, and heterosexual relationships.
Batterers may choose to use many different tactics to control their partners. Batterers may insist on a detailed account of their partner's day. They may be extremely jealous, constantly accusing their partner of having affairs. They may keep control of possessions belonging to both partners. They may belittle the partner. They may insist that (see PARTNER ABUSE, page 11) PARTNER ABUSE (from page 6) together they do things the batterer's way or no way at all.
A batterer may try to intimidate with threats of physical assault against the partner's children, pets, or possessions. Carried out or not, the threats in themselves can be terrifying and are a form of emotional battering. The batterer may threaten to commit suicide. The batterer may verbally empathize with someone who abused the partner in the past or reproduce situations of past abuse. Batterers may threaten to break confidentiality concerning a part of their partner's life that they themselves are not willing to share with people. In cases of lesbian or gay male battering, the batterer may threaten to tell the partner's family or place of employment that they are a lesbian or gay man.
The batterer may use physical assault, including hitting, punching, kicking, stabbing, choking, sexual assault, or any other unwanted physical contact. But assault doesn't always involve physical touching. The batterer may put a partner in a dangerous situation by having them unknowingly consume alcohol or other drugs, or by driving recklessly while they are in the car.
Sex may be used as a control tactic. A batterer may tell their partner that if they don't have sex they won't be given affection at all, or say that the partner's refusal to have sex means that they don't love the batterer. A batterer may also physically force their partner to have sex. According to Diana E. Russell ("Rape in Marriage," 1983) one out of every seven women in the U.S. is sexually assaulted by her partner. Up until June 1, 1988 sexual assault committed by a married partner was not against the law in Michigan. Twenty-two states in the U. S. have still not outlawed marital rape.
Although domestic violence is a crime, many states, cities, to ships, and police departments have chosen not to treat it as such and have chosen not to treat the perpetrator of domestic violence as a criminal. In many areas, including Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti Township, changes are being made. In May 1987, Ann Arbor City Council passed an ordinance amending state law, saying that police "shall" arrest a perpetrator of domestic violence if there are signs of assault. The state law says only that they "may" arrest Under the state law the assailant is booked on charges of assault and is usually released in less than two hours with an order that they not have physical contact with the person who has been assaulted. The reality is that the batterer can return home if their name is on the lease. Prosecution will only occur if the woman decides to press charges.
A few months after Ann Arbor's law passed, the Washtenaw County Sheriff s Department created a policy for Ypsilanti Township also stating that officers "shall" arrest assailants within their jurisdiction. Assailants in Ypsilanti Township are held in jail until their arraignment, usually the next business day. The survivors are not responsible for pressing charges against the assailant. The prosecutor authorizes prosecution if it is felt there is enough evidence.
After the perpetrator is removed from the home in both Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti Township, SAFE House On-Call Advocates (SAFE House teams that intervene with survivors of battering immediately after assailants are arrested) are called to the person's house to talk with them about what happened and where they and their children, if they have any, can go for safety. One option that is offered by the volunteers is SAFE House's shelter for survivors of domestic violence.
If you are, have been, or think you might be in an abusive relationship, call the Domestic Violence ProectSAFE House for counseling, support, and shelter 24 hours-a-day at 995-5444. If you are outside of Washtenaw County, call 1 -800-333-SAFE for the name and number of the safe house nearest you.
Other agencies to call in this area are: Assault Crisis Center at 483-7273, Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center at 936-3333, and Women's Crisis Center at 482-2000.