This Modern World
This Modern World
by Tom Tomorrow
For months, Scientists have been puzzling over the mystery of Linda Tripp...
She was the last person to see Vince Foster alive...She witnessed Kathleen Willey leaving the Oval Office...And she was Monica Lewinsky's confidant?
This woman is a statistical impossibility!
Countless hours of arduous calculations have finally yielded a stunning breakthrough: Linda Tripp somehow exists in a focal point of the space time continuum-around which historical events inexorably coalesce!
This uncanny quirk of quantum mechanics has dogged Ms. Tripp her entire life...For example, as a young girl, she seems to have played some sort of role in the Bay of Pigs fiasco...
...And, though unnoticed at the time, a careful examination of the historical record shows that she was somehow involved in both the Watergate Crisis--
...And Oliver North's illegal arms shipments--as is evidence by the rare photograph from the Iran-Contra Hearings...
Clearly, further study is urgently needed...so that, in time, we may learn to control this phenomenon--and find a way to use it to our advantage...
Sir, the new member of the inspection team has arrived.
I've got a bad feeling about this...