Best Time On Record

There was a. fallöw once stepped out, of u door of u tuvern on tho BfissjSsippi meaniug to walk a mile up tho Snore to tho uext tavern. Just at tho landing Hiero lay a big raft, one of the oldfashioneá whalerg - a raft a mile long. Wei}, the folio w heard the landlord Bay the ráít es i mile long, and ho said to liimself :- " I will go foxttl atfd see this greut wonder, and let rny eyes behaïd tho timbera which tho hand of rpan bato hown." So ho -got on the lower ond, and bogan to ambulute over the wood in prelty ('air tiino. Dat just as ho got starled the raft started too, and as hu v:ilked up tho rivor t walked down, both travelling at tho same rato. Whcn ho got at tho end of tho sticks, he iour.d they were pretty pear shore, and in eight of '' tavern so he landod and walked straight into the Uar-room ho had como out of. The general samoness of tilinga took him little abaok; but ho lookcd the landlord BteadÜy p the face, and séttled it in his own way. ' Publican," said he " are you giftod with a twin brother, who keaps a similar sizod tavorn, with a duplícate wife a oomport'iBg wod-pilo, and a correspoding circus bilí, a mile heneo ?" The tavern keeppr was fond of fnn, and accordingly said it was just so. "And, pubiiean, have yon amor.g your dry-good-J for tho entertainment nan and horst', and whikey of the same sia as that of your brothfr ' Aiid Uié tavern man Baid tiat, frorn tho rising of the aun untu tho going dowo oí the samo ho liad. Thoy took the drink?, when the stratfger said : 11 Publican, that twin brothor of yours is íi fina man - a vèry fme man, indeed ; but do yon know IV.) afraid he suffers a good doul wiih the Chicago diphtheria?" M And what's that ?" asked the toddy-sticker. " It's when the truth 8ett!os so firtn in a man that none oí t ever coinés out Corhfnoü dföetbra of ths catnip sort, cali it lyin'. When I lefc, yonr brother's iionleclionory, there wus a raft at bis door which he swora liia lii'a was ñ rnilo long. Wall, pubücan, I vvalked that ruft i'rom bill to tail, fröm bis door to yours. Now I know my time, and l'in just as good for rmself as for a hoss, and beltur for lh:it tii ad any man you ever did see. I ulways walk a milü in exactly l.wenty minutos, on a good rogd ; and I'i! 6e busted with in ovorloaded Injin gun il' l'va been uior'n ten minutes coming liere, steppiu' over them blamed Inga at, that."