Artemus Ward On New England Rum

I du like your skool liouses, your meetin liouscs, your enterprise, gumpshun, &e., Init your favorito Bevrice I disgust. I allude to New Bugland Uum. lt is wus-" nor tliu korn whisky of Injianny. ■which eats throw stun jugs, & will tura the sfunimuck of the inost sbií'tlcss Ilog. I sekluui seek ooasolashun in the flo win lïole, but tother d;iy I worrid down some of your Rum. Tho fust glass induccd me to sware like an infinn-ated tiooper. Un takio t lio seckuud glass I was seezed with a desirc to brake wiadors, and at'tcr Hibibin in the thi'd glass I kuoekt a small boy down, piekt bis pocket of a 2v. ï. Letlger, and wildly commenced roaditi Sylvanus Kobb's last Tui!. lts lirufful stuft' - a sort of liokwid liteuen, got up undcr tha personal supcrvishun of the devil - tcars men's iiuierds all too peaces, and makea their nozes blossum as t.lio Lobster. Sliun it as you wpuld a wild hyony with a fire brand tiod to bis tiiil, iind whilo you are abowt it you vrill do dist rute tliing tbr yourself and evcrybody abowt you, by shunning all kinds üf intoxieatin liekers. You don't necd 'eni niore'n a cat nceds 2 talos, sayin notbin abowt the troublo and sufierïn thoy eawso. J3ut unless your innards air cast iron, avoid New England's favor, ite Bovrige.