Dinner Etiquette

In a city wliero tlioro is sueb a constant vound of dinner partios as tuero is in Washington, ït is rather sun.-ismg tbat there is, afflaög those who irivo and accept invitaüana to the hosnitablc remiious, such a want of knowledge, or, at any ratea want ofatteutioo to the proper nsagea or etiquette on such occasions, some of whicl) we propose to uotice. The principal rules and olscrvances with a formal dinnér party aro : 1. A prompt answer. If the myitation ia decïïned, the answer, if possible, should bc given the samo day ; ajid. even if acoepted, should not bc dolaycd longer than twenty foor bours. A gtnrttefflan's table is, of course, ümitod, and he naturally wishes it to be ftttt, and where the ipvitation cannot be aocepted, he should have the earliest opportunity of ftllïug up any vacnucy. 2. Tho answer sbould be" decisivo, yes or no. There hould bc po oontingenoy in thfl raply, sg.eb as that the guest will come if hè is well enough, or in caso he does not leave tho city &c Such answers are in very bad taste, as well as annoying to tho host. If thcro is any doubt as to the ability of the party to attend, it is hs duty to assumo the re■sponsibility of !-ueh doubt by dcclininrr. and not to' throw it on the uhoulders of the liost. ii. Functual attendance is another duty of the guest. To koop a company of tifteen or twenty, or moro, waiting for a lady gncsi, amounts to something vcry near akiu to inoivility to both the host iiid the punctual guests, to say notluug ii tbc injury to the vianda frora not beur; servèd 'wlien ready. Uungry people, oo. are very apt to make lemürka OJ tin; úiíin]iu".t who is detainiug tliem froffl ' the feast." 4. When an invitation to a formal linner party is onoe accepted, an apolory s'nould never ba sent except for a se ious and sijbstauijal cajise. Whei-.o ;uoh a cause unexpectedly oocurs, the arliest notice should be givcn to the lost. A business engagement, unless unxpected aad unavoidable, is not a suffiiicut reason ; and no 'such engagement should be voluntarily assuraed after an nvitatjoa has been aoeepted, tliat woaJd nterfere with the latter; nor isa slight ndispositiou a sufficient cause ; for a perlonj who 'is well onough to sit up in bis jwn parlor is well enough to oecupy bis jliair at a dinner table, where lie can cat md drink as Htflé as he picases. 5. It is bad eTiough. after aceepting an invitation, to eend aa apology the day previous ; it is still worse to do so on the iay of the dinncr ; but it is a " flat burglary," after aocepting, neither to send au apology nor attend. One who wilful!y acts jn that way is fyilly entitled to be excused froin any' future invitations. It is absolute rudéncss if not Lome.thing worse. It not only keeps the company waiting, but disturbs tho wholc arrangement of the guests at the table, and obliges the host to re-arrange it at the last ttiOtaent, to bis greut iiicoiivonience and at no !i'.,t!e risk, in the hurry of the moment, of making errors and creatmg coufusion in mating a large party. It is, of course, perfeetly in order when ;i persoo is invited to dine with tho President, to send an apology to a pre viously acceptei private jnvitatioQ foi tho same dayvgÁying the reason for eo doing. Tho diplomatic corps always postponc a dinner for whioh they may have al ready i.sued cards, when they receive ai üvitation from tho Presideut ior the day. ,Some, who aro considerad good au thoi-ity, stiy that an invitation to the gentleman and hit iady authorizo thfl mer to decline fulfilhng a prcviousiy accepted invitatbn to jhimself ouly, to a gentleman's dïnner. This, howcvcr, is a mooted point, but tho practi.ce is gener;illy in favor of it. 6. A proper atteution to dress and personal appoarftnce, is a matter of or tJinury rospèct both to the host and his conipany. A frock coat at i formal "Maner party, and particularly if ladies are present, is as mueh out of plaee as it would be at a ladietf soiree, or as would be a Boiled shirt collar, o.r au uushaveu stubble beard There is the lesa excuse for this, for it can ouly arise froai jshee? thoughtlessnew; for, of course, 110 gen who frequonts good BOciety is unprovidetl witla a suitible dress body coat. A gentleman should never eníer a drawing room on these occasions in his " vernacular calí'," without haring it covered with a suitablo pair of glovcs. The host has his duties in connection with a dinner party as well as the guests. One of these is properly to select his cotnpany, so aa not to bring tegethej at ihu ame tablc those wbo may be on unfrieudly tonus with each other ; to have thein o'f the saine oircle ai'd known to eáeh other, at least so far as the residents of the plice are concerned; for, of courso, this canuot be the case as to inviied strangers. If, however, cireumstanoes or oversight have brought to the same table rjaríios v.ho are not on gpeaking ienps, care sliould bo taken to sepárate them when soatcd ; and if tlio liost is igtiorant of the relations bctwoen partios, ar has any doubt on the subject, it is his duty to asccrtain the fact before plaeing them at the table. Nothing is more awkward than for partios to be next neighbors at a table who are not on speaking term.s ; and still worse, as we liave known to bo case on more than one occasion for a gentleman to be seated be tweeu two, with both of whom he is on bad terrns, ar.d thus ncver to exohanga a word witl] either his riaht or left liane ucigiibor daring a sitling of two or three hours. AtteDtion and tact are therefore required in making up a dinner party, and in properly arrangiug the guestg aj the table. It is something worse than bad taste to invite a marned gentleman to a lady's dinricr party and omit his wife. It would be coiisiderod very oylre to invite the lady and omit tj".; gentleman, and 3'et tliis latter woula reaily be lesa objectionable ; for thougb U either case it would be moro particularly bo as to tlie lady when abe ús omitted. It is no excuso for sueh an oiuission that the lady is p. general feeble health, or especiilly sick. at the time, or for my other causo. They are to decide the quostion themsolvos, and to declino jointly or to accept by the gentleman, whioh l,e c:tn do witb propri ■,,;i'o u invitcd; h'-ii .v.'Jiioh, of conree, he would uot do wcro sho ornitte and lie previouly aware that it was a ladies' pary. AU the dillicultios of the case, howevur, if any Buoh existed, cotld easüy be obvi;itcd ü' it was dired only to have tho gentleman' compiwy, by in uiting Imn to a gontlcurm's party. üi? courso, the host will seo that proper arrangements avo raade by those hav in-r it in cbargft, that the different courses areservédin proper marnier; that the wines coma in regnfar succaswon, and that the wlicle atteaidanee at the tablu is prompt, regular and quiet. The servmg nf a dinner, and the attendance on the tn,blo are most important points m ' the feast, " and ao inferior dinner, well and properly served is preferable to a superior one badlj arraaged and served by awkward and undrilled atteudants m a hurried and cppFused inanner. _ Dr. KitcluiRi-, in his amusing work, in the chaptor on dinner etiqaitto, giwM e Uent nilos and valuadle hints, una as a higl) idea of the mutual a:id rigid obligationa of tbc host and guests, and wiuds up by saying, " when the invitations to a dinnor party 'are given aiid accepled, the diuncr is bound to come off, if any of tbc guests ishould dio, tliat isa reasonable esuso for their non-attendanoe; but if the io8t.shoald dis the exectttor is bound to give tbo dinner. ''We tbink tbo dootcr s about right.