Newark, N. J , lived i very pious family who hud taken anorphau lo mse, who, [y the way, wns rather underwitted. He liad inbilied very strut views on religious matter?, trd once asked Lk adopted motlier f fliu didn't ihink it wrong for thu old farmers to como to churul. and tó fiill usluon ; pnying no bet' er regard for the service. Slie replied 8ho did. AccoriJinly befVre gning to cliurh the tiëst "Sunday, ho fillod his poc.kets ith ipules. One bald-headed old man invaiiably weot. to sleep durinof the eennon. Seeinw h i ii at last nodding ind giving usuitl evidence of being in tho ''land of drearno," ho huuled o ft and look the ustounded slecpur, with an apple, Mjuare on tho top of bald pate Ttio minister and the aroused conüregalion at once turned around and indignnolly giized t the boy, who mercly paid to tho piencher, as ha took another applt) in his hand, with a sober honest ex prestHon of countenance: - " Yon preach - J'll keep 'ein awako Mr, Minister !" &33T" Au elderly lady who was Iiand ling u pair of artificial latöS in a dentist's office, and adiniring the fluoney with whieh the dontist described thein, asked liim : " Can a body eat vriih these tilinga ?" " My deur ïna'am mastioation can be pcrfurmod with n faoul'y scarcely ex cellod by Nature herself." "YeH, I knnw, but can a body eat with 'fin V" still queried the old lady. L" When Madgc was a veiy littlo girl, her father found her chubby hands I full of the bloBsoms of a boautiful ten rose, on -whieh he had bostowpd great care. "My deur," said he, " didn't I teil you not to piek one of these flowers without leave V" " Yes, papa" said Madge, innocently, " but all these had leaves."