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Scenes In The Examining Surgeon's Office

Scenes In The Examining Surgeon's Office image
Parent Issue
Day
19
Month
September
Year
1862
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Sotne rieh scènes are daily traftspiring in the pfficé of Dr Hntn'iftön, the Stireon nppuinted foi" exnmining all applicanta for exetnpt'on from the drnft. Yesieiday a lame, limping specimen (ihey til limp) of about tbirty, rejoicing in the poseeseioo oí a personal eítaie of about onohundred andeighty pounds avoirdupois called 00 tlie Doctor and claihied.exemption papers. "On what grounds?" asked the Doctor. "1 have a lame foot," said the ap[.licant as he went limping to a seat. " Yon seem to be very lame, indeed," renuirked the Doctor in svmp:ithizing tones, ''Let me examine the foot." "Is it really necessary that my foot should be cxamined, Doctor ?" asked appücant. ' Certainlv," said the Doctor; " how else could I certify to ita unsoundness." After some hesitationshoe and stocking were removed and a foot about fourteen inches long ful!y exposed. - After sorne pcruttny Ü:e Dcctor inquired, " Wliere is tïie wound?" " Ilcre it is," said upplicant, " it íuis beeu cut with nn ax." "Yes, I see it hits," replied the Doctor; " but it is entirely healed and perfectly wound. I cannot cerliiy to yonr exemptidn lor that cause." Appliciint heaved a sigh of dismay, and seerued absorbed in some sorrowful rtlieclion as he replaced hi sock md s!ioe. This done he stumped his foot down upon tlie floor in a mannor that fignifiad hta oblivtóuwwsfe of the great pain thflt had just befire ca i wed him such lainencss and limping, and vrhich stamp quite Bottled his Énot into its forrner quurters. Then lookina" up, he said to l.he Doctor, " Doctor, il lilis lame foot wón't answcr, I h-ave an other all suflicient reason, one that you cau't refust) me exemption for." " What ia it ? ' asked the doctor, "Why, ihe iact is, doctor, I have not got good sensa, - I ani an idiot," tollunnly repiied the applicant. "Ah!" said the doctor, " Whatproof liave yon oí that, what evidence citn you "uring ? ' ''TVoif' cnitnlnwivp " aiA onnlïfint "Why.sir, I voted for .Tamst Buchanan! And f' íhat ain't prooi' of a man'.s beint; u tl - d ídiot, I don't know how idiocy coiild be proven !'' The Dojtor gravely adnntted tho suffieieney of the proof, hut. mildly suggesled thatthe applioant had f'.illy raeovered f rum the condition of mental imbeciüty that prorftpted him to an act po idiotie. The applicantseemed truck with the idea, took his departure, and the last we heard of him lie was looking for a tigiiting Colonel to enlist undur. Ancther man went ito the office whöezing and ooughing (they all wheezn and coughj asking for v eer ifleata of exernption. ''On what ground?" agaln aslced" tha doctor. ' Wliy, you see, doctor, my brëathihg ia very bad; I arn badly wind brokénj I canijot run any distanco at all, with - uut peiling out of breath." " Yon aro justthe kind of a man we want for a soldier," unicl tho dootor. - "We want eoldierg that can'f run." Exit ipplicant ; and tho last we saw of him he was going it at 2 40 on a i'ull run, hunting for a subsiitute. Anoiher made his nppearance wit!; eyes red and swollen, claiming exemp tion on tho ground that be oouldn't see Lo shoot. "Ye8," said the sympathizing doctor. (The doctor is aiways a ' syrnpathizer,' whereby he ge!s at 'the tru'th.) "Tour eyes ure conwderably inflamed, let n:e examine them," ji0 èsanpirtca ttém ar,d üskh " what oüösed tbia trouble wilh our evcs'f" "I gbt a fly in one of them, and the olher grew sore," said the apjilicant. "How long since this happened?' asked the doctor. "About ihrce iears ago, and have been getting p'orse ever gince," replied upplietint, "H-uni," mtised the doclor; then h". said "with an ncvre ivflamalion like ihis, the wonder is that yon didn't lose your eyesig'nt beforc this But I sre yor.r eve sight is not imjiaii-cd by it. And 1 can íind no traces of chronio nflamation abont them. And I can assure you (hat fot the present irriiation the smoke of guvpnwdi'r and life in the open air u. .; the very best iwedics you could (iply. I wo"uld ftdviee you to enlist." Apjilicant di-nppeRri; he is met at the comer by a íi end to whom he mutters," I teil yo;i Joe, that Jly and d'v'tt ' of't aPB;er." Aud h m mutleiing - "I wonder whnt the d - 1 that Doctor meantbv krunicinfurmatton ! Tlmt's not my kind. H era's a pump. Lüt's wash this infurnal linie dust out of my peepers. Aud we loft liim spultenng at the towïi pump.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus