Press enter after choosing selection

Humorous

Humorous image
Parent Issue
Day
24
Month
October
Year
1862
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Mdefly on vntmin is like color on her clieek - docidely becoming f nol put in. LST" Timn i-4 tho most pnrnfkwrkwil of al lliiiiíís; the past is zone, the future 9 not come, nnd the present hecnmei the past whila we uftumpt to define it. A drinken Scotehtnnn returning from n luir feil nsleej) bv the rnndeMo, when a y]g f'ound him and besan liik ina his ninuth Sawuey roared, "Wha's kUsinp me noo ? Ye see whnt it ia to be wet-1 üket ainang the lasses !" A poltiier, who was once wounded in batil', set Np a terrible hnwlinar. An Iiishm in, who lav near with both leg-i nhot off, immediritelv nung out: " Bid luck to the ükes ut y - do jethink nobody is kilt bnt yaraelf ? " ' Sir," said one of tha BarbaryRhoro tur to a ernst v old captnin: - "Did yoa over know C'ffue to hort nny one?" ' Yes, yon fooi yon.' waf the responso, ''[ knew a b.ig f uil to full on a niiin's headonce and kill him." The rehels pretend ihnt they Rot fire U, and blew up the ArknnsHs themi-lvea. Aooordinfl to their own hccoiiiits, they have now miciifioed th-re rams as burnt oöerings to their god of v;ir. "Blust the niggera !" snya Brian, "thoy've olwayt gtl the bet ot tho whites. They can nover be poor, tor it is mposnihle for thein to be, ns uo many otilar paople are- without n Accounts ngree thnt the rebels who invaded MuryhinJ wera in a most rag ped i-.onditior., tmd, worse vet, that they wt-re coveretl ith. vwmüa, One hIki saw them shvs: " Every man miht be conuidored i host in himself. j'idjiin from thu iiniinaled nature of tbeir peis([)8." Tlie priirer "f a Unitarian preacher of FitctiKuifi, MuHrt , run4 as fullow: "Oh, God. t prav Thee til bien tho relielí. Ble their tirmies with defuut. Bl.'ss their henrts with ince.rn repenturiee. IJIess their social condiüon wilh en.unuipa'iuti." A yonn fellow who hnd one leg nbmii f -iir inclics phortorthan the other, stnffVd his boot and pMffed an exatninntion b.V n irareless E;itern phvnicinn Un Lí"t the lumnt v mnnev, and havina; gpen' it uil BHkd for a rlisciiMrce. Hi pulled the stuffi'iw nqt of liis bont, nnd df cnuise limped terrilily " Hovv did yon pues ?" akad the surpeon. Tho yoimGr fellow tnld him. " Whv did yon imp'ise yiirscdf ii on the rvïi- ? " " Oh, T kncw th(j mnev vvu goinfir, nnd I thouiíht I would pet niy share ot it." When Gcnernl Ptnart Feizd op fíen Pope'8 camp, he fomid thpre n dnrkey tlívn lh f:itne nize hs fTpner:tl Pupp, nnd ti contr:ibincl individual hn enOflüfd in tho (ienernl's bent cl'tthe, fhonlder ?tr:in nd n'l, and cbiimoH to rido hroidfl him on a mul thrniifrh Wnrren'on, lhelled on h hac-.k, " N rtítreut!1' 'Onward to Richirmnd!1' - No donbt bnt that Gcincrnl stnnrl tliniish' th:tt to dress a dMrkcy in the PeWnl uniform, rm snfficient to tnuice bim fit to ritle be.ide him! When the g.ivprnment officer who hnd ch;irLro of Mt-ssrs Mnhoiiev and Shetvar, democrn'ic: editor of Inwa, on their w;iy to Wnohinortoi). rrived at n hotel thiy ríjitered their name, a No did thfir prisoners. Tho officer tolil thi' l:mill r] to miike thom resjis. tpr their d'stinution. Whereupnn Mr. MahoniiV 8'cppd np ad wrote - "B"iind for H:ide - sent there bv the devil, in churge of some of liis anöl, for ppeakinst the truth." Mr. Bhowar add:d - " Iiound for the same placo, and, for tho same reuson " Thope who po round with the contribution box in Csiül' rnin churchw, plend and nrcne the cise at the pews n t'.ey po along. In ono insti.nce the PtKowinií dialogue tnsned - P:rnon T, - extended tho biisfeet tn Bf?T, and he phook I herid. "Corno Willimn, írive tiss rníeihín," sik1 !lep"iTson. "Cm't do it," repli.'d ill. " Why not? ís not the cínico a good one?" "iéf. good enotiwh. bnt ] am not ible to írive nnythit'g." -'Poh! poh ! 1 know better; ytn must ve t better rpaifa tluin thüt." "Well, I owe too much money; I must bu j:ist lefore T nm generoqs, yon know." "But. Witliatn, you oe (íod i) hirger debt thiin you owe any one else." "Th:it'n true, p;ir. 8n; but then he mn't :i din tne like the rest of inv oreditors. :! The argument was concluíive. I rumember one dav, in makinjr m }o.spii;i! rounds, a puMeiit just iirrive presented an mnpiituted forearm, anc doinur no conld s;;i'-(voly reslruin broad lauufh; ,he tit'er ra contnntV on hirj t:ice " Whit is the mHtïer thi doe not strike me as it BlíUjeot of liuightcr." "Itinnot doctor, but excuse me, I lost iny i:rm in bo lunny a way t!:it I slill Irtllfl when I looi iit it'; "Wlü.tway?" Ourfirst sergeant witnteil Khavingf, and g-ot me to attend to it. as I am corporal VVn went to{ether n front of hi ten' ; I had lath ervij iiim, look him by the noso and w:w about just applying the raz r. whea i r;:innon 'all -.irTie, and iha: vvas th lust I s:ivv of his lui;id and iny alfil. Exen me, doctor, for Itttlgbing so, but I nevp-gw sncli u thine; before." 'fliis ociMirred iiurinur the-sietre of Furt

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus