Press enter after choosing selection

How To Be Miserable

How To Be Miserable image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

Sit by the window and lo'nk over the way to yonr neighbor's excellent mansion whinh he has reoently built and paid for and sigh - " O, that I was a rioh man !" Get angry with your neigbbor and think you have not a Friend in tho world. Shed o tenr, or two, and take a walk in the burial ground, continually saying to yourself, " When shall I be bnried here ?" 8ign a note for a friend, and never forget jour kindness, and every hour in the day whisper to yourself - " I wonder if be will ever píiy that note." Think every body means to cheat you. Closely examine every bill you take, and doubt its being genuino till you have put the owner to a great deal of trouble. Believe every ninepence passed you is but a sixpence c.rossed, and express your doubts about getting rid of it if you should venture to take it. Put confidence in nobody, and believe every man you trade wilh to be a rogua. Nover accommodate if you ean possibly help it. Never visit the sick or affiicted and never give a firthing to aasist the poor. Buy as cheap aa yon can, and pcrew down to the loweef tnill. Grind the faces and hearts of the unfortunalo, Brood over your misfortnnes, your lack of talents, and believe that at no distant day you will come to want. Ltt the workhouse be ever in your mind ivith all the horrors of distress and ooverty. Follow theso recipes stricíly and you will be miserable to your heart's content - if we may speak so. siok at hiüiri atid at variance with all the world. - Nothing will cheer or eneourage you, nothing throw a gleam of sunshiue or a ray of ligfit into your heart. lF Genius lays its eggs with ostrich-like carelosBness in the pands of the world, most of thern to be crushed under the of men and beasts, and some to batch furnish feuthers for thè cap of mediocrity or duliness, or to plume the shaftri aimed at tho parent heart. f


Old News
Michigan Argus