A Friendly Offer Misinterpreted

- Mr. PilkiDgton, a small farmer in Pennsylvania, was lately drafted for the service of his country. His wife though sho possessos but a stnall stock oí general inforrnation, is one of the best of conjugal partners, and sha is much troubled at the thought oí parting with her hueband. Tho other day, as she was scrubbing off her doorsteps, a rough looking straager carae up and thus addressed her : "I hear marra that your husband haa been drafted." "Yes, ho is," answered Mrs. P., "tbe dear knowa, there's few men that couldn't be botter spared irorn their families." "VVell, marra, IV e come to offer mveelf n substiaite for him." "A what?" asked Mra. P., with some cxcitemeut. "I'm willing to tak his place," said the etranger. " You take the place of my husband, you wretch ! I'ü teach you to insult a distressed woman that way, you vagabond ! " cried Mrs. P., as she discharged" the dirty soap suds into the face of the discomfited and astorÜBhed substi. tufce,.who took lo his heels just in time to escupe having his head broken by the buoket. EST Gen. Grant, iQ oueof his recent letters fróm Vicksburg, remarked that "ho had 18,000 prisoners in front of him who are temporarily boarding tbemselV8B.' " " Aaythiög to please the child," as the nurse said when she let the baby arawl out.of tho nursery wiudow.