Abram And Columbia

Lank A bram lolled in h!s library chair, Consulting "Joe Miller" and "Vanity Fair When in swept Columbia, careworn and pale, But dauntless and haughty 'mid Fortune's assail - 'Come steward," she said, "now explain il you can ! Wliy shnn't 1 discharge you and try a ncw man"!" Thcn Abram the wily replied with a grin, 1 A Dutchman once said in the connty of Quinn, (The story is okl, but in point, as I deern) Taint safe to swap horses when crossing a stream." 'Cease, sirrah, yourjesting! remember," she said, 'My fields with the blood of my yeomanry red! , , . Tlie wail of the widow, the orplian s sad eye Rebuke the rude trifling of lowly or high. My children are warring along my green slope - I come for your counsels, your plans, and your hopes." Quoth Abram, "Don't swap; for as sure as a gun, This thing, it is certain must never be done, Yom biler will burst if you bother the steam- Taint safe to swap horses when crossing a stream." 'But, steward," sheanswered, 'my debts are untold, Account for my treasures of silver and gold ! lard taxes are" wrested from labor's brown hand, Yet pledged is my income, and mortgaged my land, four squanderings waste %hat the pliinderers miss; Three years of your follies have brought me to this !" And Abram replied, as he straddled his chair, 'You know, my dear madam, I'm honest and f-quare; To shelve a tried President, dont ever uream, Taint safe to swap horses wben crossing a stream." 'You crouch to Jolin Buil, for French des. pots hurrali, f ou eringe to the Spaniards and toady the Czar; My sliield cannot sbelti r a poor refugee; Uy commerce is hunted all over the sea. duw fallen am I - the young Queen of the West, Who walked among nations more proud than the best." 'Tis true," said the steward, :'I uotice your tlx, lut let the pot bile, and just toto np tho sticks. Jon'i mnddle the milk- if you hope to gei creain; Taint safe to swap liorses when crossing a stream." "Sir, since you lersist in your quips and your cranks, Where is Kosecrans, Cameron, Scott and Nat Banks. Pray, wliy do you "swap," if removal won't cure, Wlien Fremont was last ana McUluUan was surei" And quelling her fears, shc demanded reply, With clouds on lier biow and Hame in her eye. "Thai 'minds me," said Abrnm "of old Deacon Bruce - What's sass for the gander aiu't sass for the goose - Things ain't at all times," sez he, "quite what they teem - 'Taint safe lo swap horsos wlien crossing a fctream." "Enough!" cried Columbia, "my future I see- Kuin, havoc and death in the homes of the tree; Fair Liberty stabbed by the lords of misrule, While thoughtless, she laughs at the freaks of their fooi; Thieves, clowns and usurpers in conncil preside, And frand, force and folly my destinies guide." "I have it !" quotli Abram, "as slick as a mice ! Squash Hamlin ! and Government 's rid of its vice: But don't you turn tail at a Copperhead scream - 'Taint safe to swap horses wlien crossing a a stream." Columbia, disgusted, would listen no more, But cried in a rage, as she stormed through the door - "I have kept an old donkey for nearly four years, Who brings me but scorn and disaster and tears ! I vow I will drive a respectable team, Though forced to swap horses when crossing a stream!"