An Irish Recruiting Officer.--enlisting A Lawyer

Wel!, rtiiüd yorself, now, for this ia ai true as gospel. It was on the lltb oi May, 1839, I 'usted a recruit in Dublin, and put the question to him, gave him the shilling, glory be to God, and walked him to the barraoks as fine as a fiddie. Well, bebold ye now, a few days aftor he was olaimed as a 'prentioe, and so he was had up before the Major, and he committed him for trial. Well, at the following W.es he was had up, and I was oalled as a witness, urid the lawyer that defended him tould me I did not 'list him. " I did," says I. " Did you put the questions to him rightly ? " says he. " I did," says I. " By the vartue of yer oath, now," says he, " just as me the questions, for I don't believe you axed him." " How do you know that? " says I, 'for by this and by that you worn't by." " None of yer business," says he; "coine qow let us hoar. Put the questions to me," says Lo, and he held out his band, and accordingly I pulled out i half a crowa and olapped it n his fiat, I and then I up and axed him the questious, and he said " yes " to them all. " Was these the same questions ye put to the prisoner ? " sayg be. " They wor," saya Í. " Well, here's yer half-orown back for ye," says he. " I can 't take it, sir," says I. " Why not ? " saya he. " Why not ? " says I ; why, sure I can't take it back till ye go betore a magistrate and pay the 'smart money.'" " You be baDged," says he. Aöd he put the money in his pocket, and I called to his lordship on the bench for a witness that I had 'listed him. And oh, holy Biddy ! but there was a roar in the courtl Begorra, his lordship thejudge laughed till the tears ran down his faoe, and says he to the counsellor " I am sorry for you, my good man, but I hope you'll get promotion soon." Wdl, the decisión of the court beiog in my favor, I axed the judge av' I might take away my new recruit And they all roared again, and the counsellor got as red as a turkey-cook, and as mad as a buil with the eolio; and at last he made the best he could of it, and paid up the " smart money," and I picked up my cap to leave the court; and says I to tbe counsellor, says I- "Don't 'list in the line next time. sir." " What, thin ? " aays he, snappishly. " Oh, yer honor," says I, " stiok to khe rifles ; that's more iu your way." Well, begorra, when I tould the Jtory to tbe major. I thought he'd die, and whea he'd done laughin' he bid ma keep tbe " sraart money " for myself.