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Test Of Affection

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mr. iíenx otannope - a groggy sentimentalist, residing in Hanover street, Boston - conceived the harrowing suspicion that his wife was not so passionately fond of liitn as a lady of good taste should be ; and to put the matter to a fair trial, he bit on a little stratagem which lie put in practice the othrr dav, with the resulta hereafter to be detailed. Ho took a suit of his clothes and coinposed an effigy of himself by stuffing the garments with a quantity of straw which had lately been discharged from an old bed. Having suspended the figure to a rafter in the garret by means of a piece of clothes line he enscoused him self behind a pile of rubbish in the garret to watch the effect. After a while his daughter camo up after a jumping rope, and caught a glimpse of the suspended figure. iSbe ran dowu the stairs screarning - " O ! ruother, mother ! daddy has huns himselt. " Now for it, thought Felix, in ambuscade. " We shall havo a touching scène presently." ' " Hung himself," he heard Mrs. Stanhope repeat, as she walked leisurely up the staire. " He hasu't got spurik enough to do such a thing, or he would have done it long ago. Well, I believs he has done it, however," she oontjnued as she carne in view of Felix'n straw representativo. "Molí, (to the little girl,) I think he ought to be cut down. You had better gó iuto the kitchen and get a knife, my dear ; but don't 20 down too fust, or you might fall and hurt youiself. Stay, I f'orgot. There's no knife in the kitchen sharp enough You may go round to Mr. Holmes, the shoemaker on Murshul street- he's only two squares off - and ank him to lend me his puring knifo ; teil him to whet it before he seuds it; and Mo!ly, while you are iu the neighborliood, you can stop"at Aunt Sukey's and ask hovv the baby 8. And Molly, you can stop at the grooeiy store as you come back, and get a pouijd of i sugar. Poor Félix ! "sighed Mre. Stanhope, when her daughter had departed. I hope we'll gct him down before the vital spark is extinct ; for these buryings ate troublesome, and cost money. He wanted to put an end to himself, too, I think I ought to let him havo bis own way for once in bis life ; he used to sav I was always crossing him. I wish he hadu't spoiled that new clothesline; an oíd rope would have aaswered bis purpose. Here a voice whieh sounded like the Bupposed siiicide's broke in upon Mrs. Staiihope's soliloquy, with, - " You confounded Jezebel, I '11 be tho death of you 1 " Mrs. Stanhope thinking of courso this must be a ghostly aclamación, uttered a wikl scream, and attemptcd to escape down the nurrow stair-oase. Félix, starting from his place of concealment, gave chase. Mrs. Stanhope stumhled midway on the fliüjbt of stairs, and Mr. Stan hope haviiiü; just reached her, and made a grasp at hir disheveled hair, as it streamed baekwards, the amiable partners wero precipitated to the botlom togethef. Both were badly bruised, and the cries of the lady raised tbe neighbor hood Félix was arrested for creating a disturbance, and practicing on tbo tender sensibilities of his wife. He was recognized in two hundrod dollars, and jocubirly proposed his suspended effigy a bis surety ; " straw buil " was nut aceeptable to the court.


Old News
Michigan Argus