Press enter after choosing selection

The Poor Old Romans--how They Lived

The Poor Old Romans--how They Lived image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

Not ovily wero the ancient Komans a hard lot, but they were a lot of lurdlivers, and heuco tö them most oi' the Fourccs of troublo that aio common to Christians were uukuown. The lifts of ati avernge lloman was about as exalted as tbat of a modern hog. Th o Komanu had nuither rum, uor gin, nor whisky, nor brandy ; they had no coffoe, r.o tea, no chocolate, no sugar ; they had neither cigars, nor pipef, nor snufï, and tobáceo was asuuknown to tbem as Terra de] Fuego; thoy wero unacijaainted wiih tho hoop, the revolver, the liabeas corpus, and the Erio railroad; they were destitute oí duily neuspapcrs, monthly magazines, quarterly reviews, electriu telegrnphs, aud steamboats ; they were tadly off lor soap ; and, to extend Dr. Arbutbnot's remaik conceming Augustus, not one of their Etuperors had eitber glass to bis windowe, or a ebirt to bis back - not a Itoman bad ever seon a Bible, nor road "The Dairyman's Daughter;" oor wept over -Únele Tom's Cabin," nor becorae excited over an ubolition speech or a woraan's rigbts lecture - tbey ncver had a Gretna Green or a llbode Island to facilítate marriages, nor an Indiana or an Illinois to mako divorces as easy as ljiag. ïbe lioraans fud at tbeir trougbs by day, and pigged in their straw by nigbt, and wben the vermin tbat baunted ibeir toga9 became too piesfing in tbeir attentions they held the said togas over or near the fire, and made tbem too bnt for the little pests. Tbo great and gracious Porapieus blow bis nose witb bis fingers, and the mighty Juiius bimself mopped his cyes and cbeeks, after blubbering, witli bis imperial paws. The balbs ibat became so comraon in late times werc the consequences of attempts to civilizo the brutea. Not knowing these aud other thing.s the Romans grow up a robast race, wilh lades of tilth over their skins, and wer?. in short, a haidy, dirty, virtuous, aud care-Bhcddiug gang.


Old News
Michigan Argus