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Marriage In Chicago

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The New York correspondent ff ttic Mobile Ji'etister says - I onco met a ChicHgo lawyor who wnrmly advocatud marriage, and wlio exolaincd his reas" to me for bo doiug. For sucli man to do suoh a tbing was, to say the least, surpiisinf;. I listencd with breathless interest while he gave me a brief history of liis experifuee duiing the first ten veaisof his residence u tbat ceiubraied city. Said he : "I caiae to Chiengo fifteen yearH ao. I had a friend living ]iere whom I had known while he resided in New York, and couducted himsc-lf likc a (ivilized man in a civilized oommunity. As ho had written to me to visit hitnwelf and his wife when I carne to Chicago I romenibered thu invitaron when I did visit that city, and innnediately on my arrival precteded to liis hou.e. He wan not at home just at the moment, and so I nskcd to see hi wiíe, wbom I liad known only a year beforein New York In ansvver to my inquiry f r Mrs. Do Vorso, a pretty, black eyed girl carne into the drawiug-room, and received me (juite warm'y. "Wu'.l, wo chatfed very pleasantlv getlier till my menu cüiiio in, and I reall; feit myseif beginning to experienee a very aflfeetionate impulse toivurd lier, upposing, of couri-e, tbat sbe was hls niece, or couein, or uncle, or somethin" of that sirt. Hui in the course of the ftvening I asked him whetber Lis wife was at home, and f so, vvhen iie proposed to let me see Ler. "To my astouishmoiU he replied, 'This lady is Airs. J)o V re! I thoiigíityou were nlrcady awarc of' (ho fact.' 'Of course I blushcd and feit horribly uncomfortalilc and said I was uot, awarc tbat he bnd I st Emily. '' 'Ob,' said lic, 'Emily is very well, :md has msrried a partner cf mine We were divorced, you know, about six raoiitlis agn, ucd I marriod my present wife only la;t week.' "Well ! I didn't feol quite so affectionato toward lier ifter (bat, fnr I had been warmly attachfd to Euiily ; but we said no more abcut the matter, nnd I went invay, vowing nover to gc-t myself into saoli a scrapo aeaiii by asking after anybo ly's wife. I did not sea my friend's uew wife for about a niontli afterwatd, until I one day met her in the house of a mutual acquaiulance, and in the course j of couvcr.-aMon said to Lor: 'By-thewuy. might I ask you to say to your husbaud that í v;ut him tocóme lo uiy office foraa d;iy next week ' " :1 don't ihiuk 30U know my busbaud,' sbe replied, s:nilingly. " 'Whati ruaan ?: said I gettirg ra'bcr nervous. "'Whv, my new husband is named Staith,' s!k! iiiswerid. 'I waaseptrated from Mr. De Vrorse ycsierday usoruiii. and inarried ilr. Sniílli last uight.' 'lI lt-ft tlmt lioue pretty rapidly, and ! registeren] a second vow to the efF.'ot that I woul'l nevc-r, lo my dyitig day, ask a Chicago lady about her husband again. Tbc two mistakes I had ulreftdy mudo, as to Chicago wivc? an(j tmS. bnnds.mnde me decidedJy l)y of. tl.em. But the vtry next day 1 went to De Vorse's storo (core, pofk, and provisious) and found him eugaged iu conversution with a terribly angular female who looked liko a compound of a New England oid maid, a Western womab'a riglits lecturer, aud an Arkausas Bquatter's wife. "Of couree I pitied my friend, and wben tbe terrible femalo left, I remarkcd, 'I congratúlate you on your escape ; that horrible female would have exbausted any man's patieuce in ten momciits' j couversation.' What was my horror wben he replied : 'I must beg you to spcak moro repcctfu!ly of that lady ; - shc is at present my wife - a faet of which you are of course unaware, as we wero married very privately last night.' "I ncver said a word, but fled abruptly from bis presence. Once more I Bworo - and I went before a notary, who had the biggest kind of a Bible, so as to mnko the outh more binding - that ncver, neverj would I speak disparagingly of any Chicago wotnan to any man. After that I feit better, and for two weeks avoided makiug any more mistakes. "At-tho end of that time, howcver, I met the new aud angular Mis. De Vorse to whora I had in the meantimo beou introduced. liaving tbe liveüest kind of a quarrel with a big, prizu (ighting looking füllow, wbo vfhs apparently on the point of knocking her dowo. Of oourse I flew to her rescue, and demanded to know of tbc fellow what ho ment ; al80 if he Wils aware wlio that lady was, aud who her husband? To which ho briefly reniarked, 'Thunder!' ';I paid no further attention to him but turuiug to Mrs. De Vorse, siiid, 'Madam, permit me to protect you from that ruffian's nsolence.' "Intead of thauking me, she aclually slapped my face, and said, "I'll tcach you to interfere betweeu man and wife. That's my husband, an.l wo've been married three days. It's a pretty hard Lhing if a wife can't stop in tho street to ipcak to her husband without having tome idiot come and make a muss about it.' "Now," contiuucd the lawyer, "this is not only a true story, but it is a fair examiile of the contioued trouble that a man jets into who lives ia Chicago and doesn't know how to liold bis tongue. - You now undorstand why 1 bate Chicago custóms, and why I go in for iudissoluble marriüges. 1 never tnado a mis tnkc in Blking a n:an about bis wife the wholo time I li vul ia New York, but bt-re I have got into more awkvvard places and had more fights than I eau count just bocause no man or woman stays married moro tban a nionth at farthcsl." Vu drank weak lemonade together in ! siilemn tbo'.ightfulnefs, and 1 parted ] from him with the fceling that, bad is it is to bo indissolubly c, nnected with ai uoplea-ant motber-in-law, it is better than to be oonstantly bothcred by a chango of wife,


Old News
Michigan Argus