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The Meeting Of The Authors

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Mr. C , a gentleman wLo had just publi.-hed Lis first atteinpt at authorship, which mct witli remarkable SUScePB, víí-3 shortly after met by a scedy-looking individua] in (he Qoeen'a Hotel, Toronto. The latter extended Lis hand, and ia a tragio manner, esclairaed, "Allow me, sir, to welcome yon to our ruukd - tlie noble ranks of i.ulliorsliip." ïiie peculiar appearance of ihe individual raiher amused (.' , and he replieu, "Thank you, sir; but inay I vetturo to a?k who you are and íihat wurk bears your name !' "Ueitainiy, nr. Have yon ever beard of Tenoyso:i, t'if! Poet Lttttrtftte?" "Yos'iid Mr. . -■Vel], l'm Dot ha. I5at have jou hear'd of Longftllovr ï" 'Te?, but l have never scen hiin." "Wcll, I ani nothe." ' Tliin whu the diokons are you ?' "Ah ! ihere. Havo you ever be-.rd of Charles Dickens ?" "ïes, but I know you aro net Gbarles Dickens" "No, sir, I am nei her Tcnnyson, Longfeüow, norDickens; but, sir, I, tbe iudividual who staods prominontly bcforo you, in the nob'o person of a mar. - I sir, urn." "Well, sir, who are you, and of what aro you the author ?" "I, sir, am Jonathan Ezekiah Washington Jefferson Piggleton, and I am the celebrated author of a recipe for taking greaso spots, tar, oil, and all itaius out of cloth, wood, marblo, carpeta, etc., etc., and of whieh I will bo most happy to sell you, or any other man who looks upon me, for the small sum of twenty oeuts ?" Mr. C colltipsed. One of the most vvondcrful illustrations of the late Rufus Choale's ast.onishing pover of erophasizing verbally a point which he meáni to mnke a jurv see clear into the roots of„tlieir optie nérvea, recurred iu the process of the trial of the famous Albert J. Tirrel caee A witnees against tlio prisoncr (whom Uhoate was defending) having been ab sent, waa called out of turn, aud, ia faet, after the defense was in. In reference to which procedure Mr. Choate said : 11 Where was this tardy and belated witnees, that he comes here to teil us all that ho kuows, and all thnt ho doesn't know, eight and forty hours after the cvidence of the defense has heen closed. Is the case so obscure that he had never heard of t ? AVas he ül, or iu custody ? Was he in Europe, Asia or África ? Was he on the Red Sea, or the Ycllow Sea, or the Black Sea, or the Mediterranean Sea ? Was he at the Land's End, or John O'Groat's house ? Was he with the commissioners on our Northeastern boundary, drawing and defiüing that rauch vexcd-line? Or washo with General Taylor [and his army at Chihuahua, or wherefer the fleeting Southwest ern boundary line of our expanding country may at this preseut moment happen to be 'i No ! Gentlemen, he waa at none of these places - comparatively easy of access ; but - and I would cmphasize upon your attention, Mr. Fore man, the tact, and urge it upon your consideration - ho was in that more incontiguous, more inaccessiblo rogion ; so hard to como at, and froni which so few traveleis return - Kcxbury !' A oooi) many ycars ago, when ico in Summer was a rarity iu citios and au unheard of thing in the country, a good deacon of a rural chureh was chargcd with havinpr got dccidedly fuddled one Fourtb of July in New York. He wag urraigned for his misnonduci. Witli tears in his cyes líe confefped hia fault, but plendcd in pnlliation, that it was a prodigiously hot day, and the lemons and the ice in the punch did loc k ro oool and inviting that ho couldn't resist the temptation, and ho pupposod he did actuaiiy drink to intoxication. A low browed brother on a back seat listenod attcntively but ncretlulously to the defense, and at its conclusión rose. "I hain't no objeotion," paid he "to a man's getting drunk, if he owrg up to it i and is sorry for it ; that's a thing a man's liable to, and p'rapg sometimes he can't help it ; but wlien tho deacon comes in hero and undertakes to escuso biinneif in any guch way as that- tal kin; aboul 1 êuinj ice in Jtity, I go for j"rkin' iiim out 1 for ly'n'. "


Old News
Michigan Argus