John Randolph's Sarcasm

-The ïtori at the house of the lat Mr. Seaton, of the National InUlligenoer , included all the leading personages of the day, bnd even John Randolph waa softened by the accomplishnieDte of Mre. SeatOD. Mr. Randolph sat near Mr Soaton, and on ono occasion when Mr. Clay, speaking in bis not unusual personal and 8elf-eufflcient 8 train, snid, among other things, that "his parents bad left him notbiDg but indigenoe and igno ranee," Randolph, turning to Mr. Seaton, aaid, in a stage whisper to be beard by the company: 'The gentleman might oontinue the alliteration and add iueolenoe." A farmer's wife, in Contra Cnet, California, out open a turnip, and found a gopher dead in its oenter. The little fellow had eaten its way into the turoip, wliich had taken new Ufe and closet] the hole, or else be laid in its way and it grew around him - onc of tbe two - the farmer's wife Bays. At all events, the gopher won't go for any more turuipe. Judge Jeffrie?, taking a disliks to a witnesn wbo bad a very long baard, told him "that if nis oonsoienoe was ad long as his beard he had o wiuging ooe." To which thé fellow replied, "My lord,if the coDsoieuce is to be raeasured by tbe beard, jour lordghip bas neitber the oue uor tbe otber."