A Waggish Discourse On Queen Elizabeth

í'roiri the Bufïalo Commercial AilviTtiiiPT_ iore is the latost outbreak of eccentno humor : Quoen Elizabeth is dead. It docsn't make any matter how we got tho information. This i nono of our fight - this quarrel betweeu the Assooiated Pruis anc its rival. Wo'vo reoeiyed tho news, anc that's cnough. Sho died 2tj8 yoars ago the '24th of last moiith. Sho survived uutil tho lust vital apark had flod, and then sho saw it was of no uso resisting tho inscrutable dccroo of fate, and so her unfotterod soul took its flight into the mysterioua void, and settled down in that bourn f rom which no travolor roturna, unless ht has a músUm to jerk chuirs around and rap on tables tor tho bonefit of mediums aud other long-hairud, wild eyod lunatics. Quoen Klizabeth was a virgin - a vergin' on 70 ; and yet the lire gleamod as brightly as ever in hor croam colored eye, and tliu delicate shoeu of her fiuoly tintod inaroon nose contrasted as forcibly aS in her youth with tho alabastor of hor brow and tho plugs in hor tuoth we je just as valuiible as when gold was at 156. 8he had no small vioos. She didn't smoke or ohew, or belong to the society lur nie promotion oí ewmty 10 animáis. And whon sho swore, she noVor descended to the vulgurity of Homo Greoloy - Quoon Eli.abotli didn't. When she used profunity, sho gave it witli a finish, an eljganc, a doliente airy graeo, and infuscd nto it a luxurious -bandon, and rounded t off carefully on tho corners, and dressed t up with woll suluoted poetical adjecivus, so that it soundcd liko a strain trom soniu swoot singer straining himsolf, in 'a,ct. And she had red hair. Ilor obignon was bui-glar proof. And oftcn in the dimtwilight of eveniug, when ho sun had sunk to rost, whon tlie Westorn sky was filled with tender radianco md lambent light, and the bulbul woood tli e rose in tho baok yard, she would pl:ty a fow notes uuuu her harpsichord or whiln a Latin hymn or an essay upon the Harison boiler. She was supposed to be tho author of Rock uio to .Sleep, Mother, Boautiful snow, and Fivo O'clook in tho Morning. But nevertholoss sho was a very estimable woman, and with all her faults we love lier still - better, indeed, than if she woro still fooling around. Queen Elizabeth was not proud. Sho alw.iys insistcd upon cleaning hor own teeth, even if she was a Queen ; and sho ahvays did once a week, evory Sunday morning, witli her own tooth brush. - What a losson doos it toach to those who are haughty and vain, and belong to tho bon tou ! She never forgot that sho was mere perishable dust, and that tho sheep and the silk-worm wore hor fine clothes long beforo she got thein. She read every Sunday School book that taught these facto, and she once trod on Sir Walter Ealeigh's cloak to romind hini of them bocause ho was so set up with his new fancy cassimoros. Sho said upon her death-bod that Lydia Thompson neod not learn this lesson, bocauso it had no moral fot those who browsod around in Nature's simple garb. Queen Elizabeth wasn't sorry to die. he foresaw that Goorgo F. Train was miing to England, and she said to hor thysicians that sho would prefer the enuring poace of the cold and silent grave HoiStêïè" qttfcaïtotr au" a ' Yne' time ,ime. Her last words were, "Kill Horace rooley boforo has a chance to write ' What ! Know About Farming. '" Eest in peace, old gii-1 ! Eest in pieces!