How To Get A Dinner

A gentleman who had travelod about pretty extensively was greatly perplexed to understand how it was that othcr persons -wero waited upon promptly and well served at hotels, whilo he was almost entircly ignored and could scarcely obtain a square meal- coinplain to and swear at the waiterB as much as he might. At last his eyes wero oponed to tho dodge of feoing the wuiters liberally, and being of an ingonious turn of wind, he doterminod to iraprovo upon the plan. Tho next hotel he dined at, he took his seat very ponipoasly at the table, and took out a Well filled pocket-book, extracted a ten dollar bilí, which ho laid on the white eloth beside his píate, and placed his goblet upon it. In an instant almost he was summndod by waiters, who seenied to vie with each other in attflntions. Every wish was anticipated, a:cl all the dolicacies of tho kitohen and pantry wcre placed before hini in tompting aiTay. Having fared as sumptuously as a prince (to the envy of tnany of the guests) ho took up the greenbaok, and beckoning to tho nenrest waiter, was ijuincdiately besieged by half a dozen or so. Holding the bilí in one hand, he pointed to it with tho other, and inquired of the crowd : " Do ymi seo that bilí ? " " Oh, yes, sir," they all exclaimed ii chorus. " Then tako a good look at it," ho re plied, " fqr yon will nevcr see it aguiii.' Siiying which, he departed, lcaving tho waiters ughast. Asa Baldwin, CXautauqua county 1?. T., writes Üxe Rvriil Vfew Yorker thq fifty yoars ago a very lousy COW of his at ten or twelve onions, and in flftecn Koui aíter the tice had disappeared. He bfl tried the samo remody uiany times sino with the samo result in each case. A temporáneo editor, in drawing atten tion to an article against ardent spirits i; one of his papers says ; " For tho 'Effect of Intomperance' seo our inside."