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The Editor's Guests

The Editor's Guests image
Parent Issue
Day
28
Month
July
Year
1871
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

The editor sai in hls aunctiiin, hia counlenanco i'urrowtid with cure, JJis muid ut the bottOZQ of business, bia feet ut the top of u ehair ; llia clniir-aiia aa elbow support ing, his right hand upholding hú bead. Hit eyee on td d usty old Uble, with different docuiiR-ulü spread ; Tln.-iv n .-ie thirty long pagea from Howler with underhintl capitula topped, And a aliort disquiaition liom Growlttf, requeating hia newspaper s;ijipL-d ; Thcro wuio lyrios ffom Ousher the poot, concerniug BW St nowerets and zi'phyrf}, And a otiay gum Crom l'lu.la.:!, the farmer. desarïUng a etupÍL' of :- Iheiu Wfi'u tulléis Erom beuutiful muidenH, and bill lïoin a grocc-r or tWO. Aml lus bast liNidi r hiU-hud (o a iutter, whieh iuquired il he mote il, or who Í ïherewM. raptares of praises from writcru, of tbc diiiouili and meUifluous ittthordj And onë of bis üvul's last papers, miormiug him he wiw a íool ; Tliere were several loug rosolutions, with nameb telling whom tln;y were by, Cunumziiig s me hannless oid brothur who had done nolhiiig worse than to die ; There wero t rups on the table to eatch hirn, uud aerpUktfl tO st í iifcf and t_ smite hun ; Thcro weru gift enterprises to acli him, uud bitters atlciniiiiig to bitt liiui ; Tliere were long staring "ada" froni the city, and money witii oever a one Whieh added, " Pisase giró this insertion, and aend in your bill vahen you' re tiont ;" Therc were letturs trom organixatioua- their meetings, tiu-ir wants, and thur luws, Whieh uiil, " t.'uii you print this announcement for- the good ot' üur glonuun ciiu.se .'" Tuero were tickets inviting lúa preaence to festivals, parties and nhows, Wi;iijjd in noten with "PleasegÍTe usa notice" domurely slipped in ut the alOM ; In short, as his eye took tho table, uud ran o'crits inkspaCtered trash, Thero wua, nutliuu; it did uot enoounter, exceptiug perhaps it was oaab The editor dreamily ponderud on Eiovoral ponderoue tliings, On different iines of action, and the pulling of different stringw ; Upon sume etiuivoail doings, and Bomo uuequivoeul duim; On how few of his numeroua patrona were quietly prompt paying ones ; On i'riends who nubücribed "jast to help him," and und wordy QDOOUzagemeut lent, And had given him plenty oi' counsel, but uever had paid liiiit a cent : Ou vinegar, kind huarted peoplo were feeding him evciy huur, Who saw not tho "work they were duing, but woudered that " printen are sour;' On se vera 1 intelligent towumuun, vfaou kindness waa so without ntint, That they kept aneyeout on his businebe, and told him just what lie should print ; On ine-ii who had rendeied hun i'uvora, and never puahed forwurd tht ir claima, Ho iüDg aa Liie papar was uiowded with lócala containiii;r iiiL-ir names ; On vuriousother amall matters, auüicient his temper to ruil, And fhiely contrived to ha mukiug the blood of an ciiiun boíl ; Andsoom: mayseethai hla feelinga could hurdly be Huid to bu aiuooth, And he aeeded sume pleaaant occurrcuco, hia awakentd unotioBfl to .-mh)'.1ii-, Ho had it; for lo on ihu Lhreshold, a slow and reliai h ■ tread, And a farmer invadid tho aanctutn, and these are the words thtit he &aid : " (uuil ïnornin', sir, Mr. Printer ; how ia your body, to day Í I'in glad your'e to home, for you fellers ia ai'ays a ruimin' auay ; Your paper last vrosk wu'nt so spicy nor bliarp as the one weck bofore ; But I 'ik)so wlien the campaign is opened you'll be whoñpin' it up tu V-m more; That fellow that 8 printin' 'l'hc Üinasiur ia goin' fur juu perty emurt, And OUT lolk.s said thia mornin' at breakfutit thcy tliought lie was gettiu' the st.irt. But I hushed Viu up in a minute, und said a good word tor you ; I told 'em 1 believed you was tryiu' to do juat Qfl well il-í you Icnew, And 1 told i.'iu that sume one waa sayin', and whoevcr t'was it ia so, That you oan't expect muuh of no oue man, nor blturn; hun for whut hc don't knuw ; But, layin aaide pUaturetot busmua, I'vo brought you my liMlo boyJmi, And 1 tlioufiht 1 wouiil bun if you couldn't make un editor outeu o' him. ".My f imily stock iA increasin whilo other fo&s'aeenu to run short ; I've got a ight smart of a fainily- it's ouo of the old taahiond sort, There'a [ehiibod, laaac and Israeí, a workiu' away on the farm ; They do 'bout as inuch aa one good boy, and make thiDgs gu uil like a churm ; Tliere's ,lu-w and Aaron are sly ones, and ölip like a coupïe ot eela, Butthey'io tol'able steady in one thing- Uiey ai'ays git round to their nieals ; There'a Peter Ís busy inventin' (though what hc inventfl 1 cun't aeK And Joseph i studyin' medicine- and they're both oi 'uin boardin with dda Thoru's .bram and Albett is married, each worltiu' niy tarín tbr himelf, And Saui'a smaaUcl hú OOM at a ahootiu' and so he ia laid on the shi'lf The rtst ol tibe boys ure all growin', 'cept tlñü littlü runt, wiiicii is Jim, And I thought thut perhaps I'd be inakin.' un editor ou Lea o1 him. II He ain't v.o grr-at shakes for to labor, though I'vö labored with him a good denl, And giye luía sorna stzappin1 ROOd uifumenU I know hu couldn'i heipbui io feel, But he'ti built out of sucond cluaa tiiuber, and nothin' a bout hizn U big. Ixceptin bis appetite, only, and tliere heVs as good aa apifir. I keep him á carryin' luncheons, and fillin' and briiiiiiïi" thejugs. And toko hini amoDg the ijertatocs, and set hiin to uickiii tin bi And hen there is things to bo doiu' a helpin the women in dooxa- There's ohuruiu' and waahln1 of dishes, and other deAcriptionfl of eiiores. lïut be don't take to nothin' but victuals, uud he'll oever be much, 1 ara afraid, So I ihouglu it would bv u good notion to lcurn him the editor1 trade. Ria body's too sniull for a farmer, his judgment ia ra;)n r too slim, lïut I thougiit ira perhaps could be mukin' un editor outeno' him. "Itaiü't much to gel upa paper- it wouldu't takü him long fot to team; lle could Uvd ' tho machine, I am thinkin' with somo (íimkI strappin' fellow to turn, ud things tbat waa once hard in doin' ia easy enough nw to do ; Just keep un eye on your machinery, and crack your arrangements nght thiougb. I used to wonder ut readin', and wlicn it was got up, and how, But 'tU most of it made by ïuuchinery- I can aee it all plain enough, now. And ppetry, too, ib conatructed by machinery of diffrciit iksigns, Each one with u gauge and a choppcr to see to the length of the linus ; And 1 heara New York cluir voyant ia runniu one sleeker thuu greusc. And a rentin' her heaven born productions at a coupio of dollars apieoe; An' siiicc tae wbole txade bas gTQwed easy, 'twould be osy enough. Pte n wbim, If you wae agxeeOi to Ijc makin' au editor outen oí' Jim." The Editor aat m hia eanetum, and lookwl tho old man in the eye Then ghuiot) at the grinning young hopeful, and iiioiirnfully marie his replj : "Jsyoureona smoll unbouña edition of Moaes und Bolomon both I Can he compasa bifl spirit with meckness, und strumjle a U:t! lllal (:illl .' Can ho leave all iii wrongn to the future, uud carry his bearl ín hjg cheolc í Can he do an hour'a workina minute, and Uvcona six penoe a week '. Cao be eourteoual) talk to au cquul, and brow beat an bnpudent duni e I Can he keep bhingftin apple-pie order , and do hulfa down at once ! ( an he presa aU tin; ipriroga of knoluJgo with quick und reUable touch, And be noethathe knows hpwnuicb to know, and ki.otvs how to not know too much í Does he know i.ow to ipnT op his virtue,and put a nin on his pridfll Cau he curry n gentlernan'á manners within a rhinoccros' hiue .' C4n he know al), :ntl do all, and Imï all, with ohoerfuluess, couratfe and vira í If so, we perhaps can be making an oditor 'outen of Jiiin." The farmer stood curiously listening, while wonder báfl visuge o'er&pread ; And Ín; said, "Jim, l guesa weH be goiu' ; he's iro bably out oi' hia heud." But lo ! on tho rickrty stair-oase, anofher reliablé ireadf And enterad unother old farmer, and tfw.se oro the WOldu tiíat ,v 'Mmk.iI Miuining, sir, Mr. Editor; how ia the folks, toilay ! I ow yini for nezt year's papor; I thought I'd corne ■ pay, Ajid Jones is a goui' to take it, ana this is hia money hen 1 chut down on leñdín1 it to liiin, nud then coaxed hiin to ti y it a y-ar. And here i a lew Utile Ltema, that happened laat weok in out town ; I thought they'd Look goud for tho paper, aud a I juat jotted 'em down. Awl herea a basketaf Qhsrriesiny wifu ikkcd eiptesesly fdf you, And a uaau banoh of llowci's from Jcnnic-shc thought ahe musí end Bometbin', too. Your'iu dotn? the politice bully, as all of our íuin'ry reo, Just k''-ji ypur oW SuOjH quill a floppiu' and give 'em .■i good one fw mi:. And now you arechuok fullof business, aüd 1 won't Ite tnkin' your I've things of my own 1 inuat tond -goofl day, SÜT i JL bÜuve i willchmb." 118 editor sat in bis hiuhíuiu, aud brought down hui li.sl with i thunip; "God blesa tbat oll tarmerthiB uauttered, "he's a regular joüy oíd trutnp." And'tisthus with our noble profeaeion, uiid thosit yill ever be ítill ; There are soiuc who appreciute ita labor, and some m who perhapa never will, , Bot in the greal time tlmt ia coming, wben (iubnel 8 truinpüt tilitil) Hound, And tlicy who liave laborcd aud rcsted ehall como froni the quivering ground, Wbaa thej who hare atriveu aud auffcied to teacu mul ounoblc the race, Mmll marohat thcl'rontof tlio column, each onem his tjud giveu place, As they piiss thiough the gatos of Tbc City with proud and victorums tioad, The editor, printor, and devil, will travel not f:vr from thu In .ui.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus