Church Cats

A church is dividcd into two partios. Wliat olio likcs tbo other abhors. They feel it their duty to stick to it. ín tlie dovotïtAisl meetings they pray at eaefa ether's inconsistencies, hoping that tho prayer urill gt to heaven, but by the way of I)eacon llafferty's pow, just stopping a moment to givo him a shaking. If oiie ■wants tko church built on tho hill, the otbor wiuits it down ly tho saw-iuill. 11' the one wante the miTtister to avokl politics, tho other would liko to havc him got up on the side of tho iulpit aud givc tlree choers for Jolm lírown's knapsaok, ■which is said ti) be still " strappod on his back !" Whcn Kldítr Bangs sits still in prayor, Kldnr Crank stands lip to show Lis contempt for sucl bchaviur. If onc pttts ten cents on the pinte, the other throws a dollar on tho top of it, to show his abhorrenco oí' suili pursiuiony. Tfce wholo ehnrcïi eatchos tho quarrelsome spirit, and begins to go down. Ouehulf of tho clioir oats up tho other liitlt'. Tlie per devours the pulpit, and the pulpit svallows the pew. Tlie eession takos dowa thé trustees, rad tho trustees mastícate tho sossion. The Kunday-school and sowing society show tbeir teetb, and run out their claws, and got their bauks üPjüud spit furo Aud eUureli couneilij aHsejuíWw to stop the quarrel, and cry "Seat! scat !" to the int'amous howlers. But the claws go on witli tlveir work, till Üurt stands the old ohurch by the waysiáe, windowless and foTSsken - nothing more nor loss than a monument to the memory of the dead occlesiastical cats of KíMtonny !■-