Humors Of The Day

The f'ollowing rulos tbr etiquette will irobabJy beobserved as elosuly as any ,h;tt eould be giwn : 1. Do not commenco eating bofore your host gids through with his grace. 1 ïave known gome men tobite a biscuit as Latge as a blacking-box into liali' moon, and to have to hold it betwean thcir teeth, under 11 suspunsiou of the rules, duriug a blessing. ï'his is disgraceful. 2. L)o not sup Soup with a fork. Your soup will always have you at a d sadvant.ige with such odds. lïesides it is "soupürtluous." 3. In passing your pi ate to be rehelped, retain your kiufe and fork in your vest pocket. 4. Whcn asked for a diah, do not jiriipcl it aores9 the Surface of the table, aftur the nianner or game of shovel-board ; alwuys pitch it graeefully, after the manner of This will bo " quoit " sulticient. 5. Nover tiy to eat fish with a saltcellar. ü. While drinldng, be careful not to einpty hot cortee, or anything af that sort, into your neighbor's paper collar. 7. Do not eat too tast. You will nol "get left " if you inako up in heroic doses, tor tast time. 8. If you Jiiiu anything suspicious in your hash, don't eat anj more hash and it thtre is anything wrong with your buttor, proposo a toast, or teil an anecdoto. .). When you burn your mouth with a oold potato, don't' whistlc or make faces at tho company, but shed tcars in SllulKiC. 10. Never leavc the table without asking the lady of tho houso to be exoused but it' you happen to be at a barbecue or a tree lunch, uon't leavo as long as therc is abone or a orumb in sight. It you will studiously observo theso lit tle rules, and don't appropriatc your table napkin tmdet the contemptible pretens that you tliought it was your poukc handierchief, you will succeed admira bly. A Moriuon missionary oourted a girl il Wales, and sent her by expresa, charge prepaid, to tho holy city of the Latte Day Sainta, wbereot' Bnghani Yomifí i the biggest Tweed and tlie most marriec Tammany ohiof. Sho was to await hi arrival. Thé maiden was lovely to look upon Brigham saw her; his too coinlustibl hoait took fireanew. Heloved tho Welc maulen witli her honid language. Sli askod hitn it it wasn't barely possible tha ho mistook his sentiments tor her. The vönerable '("ripie1 of Cupid informed her that hu had been that way too iu;iny times to make a mistuki: now. So the Wales girl t'orgot the hurable raisBionaiy and trurapod the biggest saint in the lot. This is a wicked world ; and that. niissionary has reformed, quit Mormonism, and is running a faro bank in California.