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A Bashful Lover

A Bashful Lover image
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His name was Jacobus ; we used to cali him Jackass, tor short. Heaveii holp iuo if be should seo this story. Among niany of his misfortunes, for bo was cock-eyed, red-haired and knockkneed, be numbered the inconvenient une of basbfuhiess. ïsevertheless he was fond of the ladies, although when in their presence he never opened his mouth wbcn he could help it, and when ho did, used both hands to help him ; in faet, he was a man of " great actions." Jaeobus, one wanu day, l'ell in love ; he had j ust graduated at college, and bogan to think he must seek the ladies' society ; he was gctting to be a man, and it was mauly to have a " pcnulutut." Ko Jack feil in love with the sweotest, loveliest, most hoydenisb girl in the square ; but how to teil his leve ! ïhere wus the rub. He had heard a good deal of " lauguogc of the eye," and he accordingly tried that, but when ho looked partieularly hard at the wiudow where Emily was in the hal)it of sitting, sume persou on the opposite side of the strect would invariably bow to liini, thinkitig he was endeavoring to catch their eyes. He. has dospised eyes ever sinco then. At lengtti Jack obtained au introduction through his sister, and with her he callcd several times, but she was obliged to leave the city for a soason, and as each interval only increased his ardor, he dotermined ou going it alone. Long before the hour fixed upon by oustom for m evening visit, he found himself arrayed in his best. Blue coat, metal buttons, black cassimero pants (said pants being a little tighter than the skin), and a spotted vest. The journalu of the day state, as an item of intelligimce, that the thermometer ranged froni suventy-five to eighty degrees. Jack swears it was a hundred. As the hour gradually drew near, Jack found courage and perspiration oozing out togethti', and he almost determined to pull out and stay at home. He concluded, howcver, ho would tako a walk past the house and sec how it feit. By the time he reached the mansion ho firmly concluded to go in, but on casting his eyes toward thu parlor window, and percoiving no ?igns, he thought it possible that no one was at home, and sinco he had proceedcd so far, he would proceod further, and l-ave his card. No sooner determined than concluded. In a reckless moment he pulled the beil ; the damid thing needn't uiako sueh a noise. The door was oponed as if by magie, and the servant girl politoly asked hiin in; Miss Ëmily was alone in the parlor, and would be dolighted to sce hiin. O, cracky ! here was a fix ! Go in a dark parlor with a pretty girl alone ' It was too late, however, to retreat : the girl had closed the front door, and was pointing to the parlor where Miss Einily was. Being porfectly convinced that no choice was left to him, into tho dark room he walked or slided. All was perfect chaos to his oye tbr a moment, as he supposed, but he little dreamcd of the oDstaclos that fate had thrown in his way. He know f uil well that the stream of lovo had niany ripples, but full grown snags enterod not into his head. Judge then of his astonishment on being tripped up almost at the fair one's feet, by a flat stool with plethoric legs, which a careless servant girl had placed exactly on the road to haiipiness. Over he went, and as the tailor had not allowed for an extra tensión of the muscles and 8Ínows, he not only procurod a tumble, but also a compound fracture of the black pants aforosaid - said fracture extending across that point which comes in close contact with the chair. Having pickcd himself up as carefully as circumstances would permit, tho smothered laugh of Miss Emily " not setting him forward any," ho at longth succeedrd in roaching a chair, and drawing his coat tails forward to prevent a disagreeablo exposurc, sat himself down with as mueh grace as a bear would when requested to danco on a pile of needies. The young lady was almost suffocatod with laughter at tho gad mUfortune of the bashful lover, feit truly sorry for him, and usod all her powers of fascination to draw it from his mind, and ovent-iall; succeeded so as to induco him to make ' remarle. I5ut on this he split. Just at that moment sho observed tlia dhe had lost her pocket handkerehie! What had beoome of it ? Sim was sur she had it when he carne in. It must eer tainly bo somowhere about. " lïaven't you got it under you, Mr. Jacobus ? " Jack was gure he had not, but poo Jack, in venturing an answer, could no possibly gfet along without raising hi handü, and of course he must drop h coat Aails. Jn his anxiety to recover the missing wipo ho ovo ventured to inclino his bxly so as to glance on tho floor. As he did so the fracturo opened, and behold there lay, as the lady supposod, her missing property. It was tho work of a moment to oatch a corner and oxelaira : " Here it is, sir ; you needn't trouble yourself about it. Just raise a little, it's undur you," at tho sama timo giviug il a hard pull. Alas, the tale was told, and no nscaping nothing short of a special interposition of Providonce could savo his shirt. But what could hc do ? Another and another strong pull, cvincing on the part of tho lady a praiseworthy detormination to obtain the lost dry goods, coupled with tho request: " Oct up, sir ; j'ou are sitting on it," detcrhiinod him, and in tho agony of tho moment and grabbing with both hands a fast disappoaring strip of litlen #Mch encircled his ntk, lic eSclaimed : " For G - 's sake, Miss Emily, leavo me my shirt collar."


Old News
Michigan Argus