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"knows How It Is Himself."

"knows How It Is Himself." image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

" Fat Cúntributor " professcs to know how it ia, and tells it in this way : " T know when I have made a success without being lol il. Tho 'committeo' :ring their wivcs up to the platform and introduces them to ino. Some of the influential citizens como up and introduce :licinsplves. Tho editor takes mè warmly by tho hand and wants to know where the next number of his papor will roaoh me. If I stay over night with ïuy frieud, tho Assoeiation President, ho invites in some of the neighbors, and thcre is a social timo in tho parlor. Or if I am at the hotel, tho 'boys' como around and invite mo to go oxit and oat oysters, and it is difficult to got away trom them sometimos to go to bed. There are pooplo who see me off in tho moniing, and I hoar it stated over and abovo board that if I should come to that town agaiu, tho hall would not be largo enough to hold the people. Little boys on tho stroot aro rospoctful. But when I fail nobody is to bo introduoed. Tho editor who in the aftprnoon snid he must be sure and seo me alter the locture, slips off home. His paper doosn't roach me either (unless it reaches mo ander tho fifth rib). The Secretary hands mo tho stipulated amount with frigid politeness and departs. As I pass along; tho eidewalk on my way to the hotol, I hear some little boy shout 'humbug!' in a voice of startling shrillness. Tho landlord surveysmo with a look of pity as I enter (he has heard all about it) and I snrnk off to bod as soon as possible. No one attends me to tho depot in the morning to seo me off, and I ovorhcar a ruda fellow toll nnother on tho plalt'orm, as I am about to stop on the cars : 'If thal fraud over cornos to this town again, ho'll got a hoad put on him.' "


Old News
Michigan Argus