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Mani-Uestkk, April 2."), '73. ïïniToi; AkoüS: " Mallet" s an " innocent," sent abroad ty the Oowrier, He nnfortunately struük MEanchester April I5tb, 1872, llred, liungry, nul ihlrstv, and somebody took hlra in. VVhat Ue saw and lieiurd in oor rlllage he jortraya witli a gnshing pen lu the Oourier f Ainii 19th. He saw rtght btralght íhreugh Manchester and everythlng i ín. AJthoogh he had beeu hero several iimcs, he was'nt a strangër, and strenge to j;iy, he saw the lollowin- and mere too lie aw a tu ti ii wlio bad 11 ved in Waabtenaw County since tlie Ttlèd3 war, and hm! nev;r been to Mancheeter. He told tbta old Inhabltant there was about a.s uiucb difference bet .veen the latitudt: and longltude of ttiis village as between ti fue titnili and a siek fami'y. The laütndi: included rnlllintry#s!io;is and other places of bnsiness run by goud men ; n paper mili owuud by the two best ferlows lo toun. He aaw three water power within one müe of each, and three ordinary lawyors and he&rd of two more who retlred as soou as Uu three becameordlnary. Hecame ociosa m minsual nuinberof mean cusses perfect ly wllllng to back and ad vise thoM who ■■h todefy the law and keep our citizous in hot water; aan a man with a nose that lovked Hke a rotten apple and tbpught tiifc crjtter drank whisky. Uu says Hen'ry haa ruil the Goodyear Housö into the basemem, and is busy trving to keep the top on eartb. He s:iw heil througii 15 gates, and heaveu through 3 orthodox porla!s. (Thli Is the most (vouderful slght ever witnesscd In our vlllage.) lie saw a bottle oi' damuation behiud a screen, but dais not test its virtue, so lie let her set He heard a bell - it remiuded hini of Mrs. OLeary of Chicago - and he sallietrforih to seewbosecow had kicked. He found the bell in a Cliurch stieple, went in, feil asleep and dreamed the ai (test dream ever pablUhed. [See Courter.] Wt have been to Chicago but ïini to recognlze tiiat our Qnorcli bell sounds llke the O'Leary cow bell. Bat this fellow bad probsbly drank new milk, the cream had rushed to hls braiu and be divanied that somebody's cow had kickeil hlra ro:n notel to Ciiui'ch. He was trying t bear the iexc, bit a young lady sal b - s'ide hiui who woiv a ;:'■' QOW bell, and ui fortúnate ly shu kicked hlgker tliati two lamps and knocked tU text enlirely out of hls ml lid. He awoku ! and suggested a novel plan to make Mr. B-al rlch. [See VotirierA I In now says that theru is more good In this villaje than vvouid HU a nawspaper. What a pity In: dtdn't write a good or two ; no, he goes rlght on as if oothtng had happened. He says a renegade satanie Mctho list preacher was here and told a " house uil " that they were going to heaveu because there was no otiier place to goto. Thla mak'-s " Mallet " bound, and he declares that sach preaching Is too thin, no better ttian a '■. i i' " Naliet " tliinks there is a heil and wants to go there, no person In tiiis town ivill object to his goius, au y time, through either of the il f teen gates he has discover..!. Bat what makes him raut nii-.l tear sj abotit - whole congregalion who are trylng to squecse through the port holes aud reach heayen? lts fonny togic. Wonder if it ís a true ChrlstU spirit f Should "Mallet" reacb heaven and there llnd professors of union schools, the Rv Mr. Barnhani, and other decent Chrlstlans pralslug the Lord, we mipposc tliat, m s:iite of til celestial indjcements, he wojld retire to the Milky ;iy and flsteu to tne eternai tiiiie m .nrs. O'Leüry's tow. Such a fate wmiiil be superlatlvely sa'.i, but our sympathies vvouid be with the cjw. Agaln, "Mallet" ram besthnsly: He Imagines he isa woodbine and twines himself around our book lid ladder truok, and wonden if the com piiny wou ld assembld it he crled tire ; be thongiit o:' Chicago once more, the írirl with a %:i bell on her neck, and couldn't üie. líe nest sollclted a Cominon Coun ciler to purciiase a:i Ann Arbor "Recipe bo:." Tiie Couucller gravely looked "Mallet" in the eye, aaylng; "Young man, that boots is euougb to pliysic a wóodpecker." "Mallet" says the whole Coun cil are basswood and c.iu't be vaccin ite I. He nest saw a beaullful school house and soine pretty teachers. He heard thut there Masons and Od'l Fellowa in town, bu, be dld not see them, and conclndes ii was a canard Bat, Eureka! he found a geuuloe, natlve, correspondent - one who wonld show up this town heroafter as it ühould be. How fortuuute ibr the town ■ When last seeu "Mallet" wtis trving to siu. " Put rue in my Little Bed," and he looked for all the world as ü he was : u -oiiderful luk-sllnger, and b :longed to Mr. i e il, truly. Flesse couslder nie, Bboótim' Stick.


Old News
Michigan Argus