About Doctors

All right. I'in going for him. I havo been uoliiiif? to go for the doctor u long timo ; so here goes. There are a groat many kinds of doctors - great doctors and Binall doctors, good doctors and poor doctors ; old-sohool doctors, doctors of the new school, aud doctors with out any schooling whatsoevar. Thtre are doctors of law and doctors of sons-iii-law ; oar doctors and doctors it is difficult to get tho oar of; tooth doctors, nail doctors, and doctors who go at yon tooth and nail. Eye dootors and I. O. Lr. doctors ; eolectic doctors, eleotric doctors, nnd doctors not of the elect who run mostly on tic. ïhen wu have cold-water doctors, and doctors who " steam " it a good deal ; root dot tors, and doctors whoso motto is " lloot hoK or din." Sweat doctor aro numerous. If thoy dont swoat their patients, their patients sonietimes muko them xweaf. And there are few doctors who are not compelled to sweat around a good deal to get their pay. Amnn7 Indian doctors are thefull-bred, ha)f-bred, corn-bred, and doctors nover bred at all - at least not bred to medicine - tho latter cluss being far the most iiuniorous. Ab general thing, Indian doe-' tors know uothing about Indians; many of them neversaw one. But that is nothing strange in medicine. Men have practiced medicine all their lives without having" tho slightest acquaintance with it. Hcrb-doctors are popularly supposod to speud a large portion of their time in tueandering through the iields, outting herbs. Nothing of tho 6ort. Lots of thom wouldn't know cat-nip from"t)onuyrilo " if thoy saw them growing. They oull their ht rus at tho druggist's. Thero aro lung doctors and doctors with very little lungs, although tolerable livors. Doctors are good livers as a general thing. The throat doctors appear in a variety of forms uot strictly reoognized in medicine The hangman is one of the most thorough throat doctors we have. His remedy, a stricture of heuip, rarely fails. Although sevtre, it is effectual. Few persons have evfr boen heard to complain of their throat aftor the flret applioation. Corn doctors are somotimes men of much understauding, that being dotormined by the size of tho patients undergtanding. Somo corn doctors are quite killt'ul in taking off a corn. I had one ake off a corn for me once, and he took t off 80 far it was noarly a woak before it ;ot back again. i m i The peculiarly American habit of dubing every othor man a colonel is thus amubingly hit off by tho l'hiladelphia l'ost : " To cali a man a 'colonel' is to convey thc idea that he is of a mild, meek and bonevolent disposition. It is also on evidencH that ho never was a soldier. For instanoo, we may reoall sorce of thecolonels of Philadelphia. 'í'here is Col. Forney, Col. M'Clure, Col. MoMichaol, Col. Scott, Col. Mann, Col. Fitzgerald, Col. Phillips, Col. Iliokeu, Col. lireen and Col. Fritz. Of what regiment ? And we might mentiou many more gontlemen of high standing who have uever been in tho army and can only bo called 'colonel' as a tribute to their antipathy to blood. If every colonel was a soldier, the standing ariny in í'hiladulphia would be a menace to our liberties Their number is as great as it was in San Francisco, to wüiih Jchn l'kenix bears witnoss in tho íollowing story : Tho steamboat was leaving the wharf, tmd uvcrybody was taking loavo of his friends - all but l'henix, who had no friond tobid hiui larewell. Ashamed of his loneliness, as tho boat sheered off, he callee! out in a voice, " (íood-by, Colonel !' and, to his great delight, every man on the whtirf took off his hut and shouted, ' Colon ul, good-by '.' " Kind word8 ate the liright flowers of oarth's oxistenee ; they mako a vory paradisü of the huinblest homo the world can show. Use thefrí, ftnd especially around the rlreeide circle. 'íhey aro jcwels beyond price, nd mako tho weighed-down spirits more glad than all other blossings tho curth afta givo