Plain Talking

■A villngo parson iiavin;; 111 nis sonnuns taken too exaltea i pitcli i' i' the oomprebenñon of' his auditors, t'ound it neceasary to make soine apology, which he did as follows: " ltespeoted frienda,- My oral document having reoently been the subject of your vltoperation, I hope it will nut be an instance of vain eloquence or supererogation, it' I laconioally promúlgate, that, ftvoiding all syllogistioal, aristooratioal, and peripatetical propositions, all hyperbolioal exaggerations and extenuations, whether phymioally, philosophically, philologically, politically, or polemically considered, eitherjn my diurnal peregrinations, or" nootumal luoubratious, thev shftll be definitely and oategorioally assimilatod with, and rendered congenia lo the oooiputs, caputg, and oerebrums o you, iny most nuperlatively respeotabli auditory." Lager must be mighty powarftil stuff One man, who said that he'd taken jus one.gl "tn trying to induce ai awning-poat to aore drink befor we part. The awning-post is stiirnl1 teirijienmcp, and couldu't be inducad itake a paft ing drink. This so aj the man who had taken onc drink tba lie sat down on the curbstone, with hi feet in the gutter, and wfpt vcry copiously. Soiuchuw the tears oaiae out of his iaouth.