Captain Tiller's Wooing

Captain Seth Tiller, returning from his weekly fishing voyage in the good bark Tickler, was surprised to flnd his douiicile shut up and apparently neglected. Still more surprised was he upon being infornied by a sympathizing neighbor, who delivered to him the door key, that his sister Nancy, who had been since his mother's death his sole housekceper, had forined a sudden attachment for a traveling tin-nian of a neighboring town, and had on the previous day walked off, or rather riddon off with the same in his wagon. Nanoy had left her love and a good piece of roast beef ready for her brother, together with a message to the effect that she ' hoped he would think better of it, and come to seo her and Joseph, than which nothing would please them more.' ' Durned if I do,' said Captain Seth Tiller, wrathfully. ' Let her be satisfied with Josepb, since fhe was fooi onough to leave a comfortable home for the sake of gettin' married. Jest like women the whole world over. A man'a only got to say ' Will you '(' and they jump at it like a dog at a bone that's flung to him. Well let her go. I don't care. A woman ain't worth much anyhow, and I guess I kin get along without 'er.' This was said aloud, partly as a relief to his own feelings and partiy for the benefit of his noxt door neighbor, Miss Hesper Bittings, who Bat at her window in visible enjoyment of his chagrín. And then.to show hisindependence of women, Captain Seth straightway set about preparing his evening ineal. ' Any fooi can inake bread,' he said to himself ; and, putting a quantity of flour in a pan, he went to the hydrant in the back yard and let on it a stream of water - working the whole in to a soft sticky paste, which, with great difficulty, he finaUy got from his hands into a cold bake-pan, which he then put into the stove. ' Such trifles as salt and yeast, or shortening, never occurred to hiui. Then he put about a cupful of ground coffee to two cups of cold water, and set it on the stove to boil ; after which he looked after the cold beof, but the rats had been there before him, and Captain Seth, with a few exprcssive adjectives, flung the ineat out of the kitchen window to his dog Pickle. ' I'll htiv a biled fowl, I guess,' said he, as his eyes feil upon Nancy's couple of rather ancient 'pullets,' stalking forlornly about the premises, and, after a prolonged and exciting chase, in which Pickle rendered effective and noisy service, one of the unfortunate fowls was run down, decapitated, plucked on the spot, and summarily plunged into a pot for boiling. It is due to the Captain to say that the idea of cleansing the inside of the fowl had never occurred to him, else, doubtless, that little matter would have been attended to Poor Captain Tiller ! He never suspected an-vthing wrone until he attempted to tako the putty-like mags of dough from the oven, and out into the boiled fowl. - And then both bread and fowl followed the beef, ond Pickle feasted, to his own fancy, royally thatday. Andif anything could havo added to Captain Seth's bitterness of feelinp, it was hearing the dorisive laugh of Miss Hesper Bittings, who had witnessed the whole of his proceeding8 in the back yard, and also beheld the exit of the savory viands through the kitchen window. Not that Miss Bitting or Captain Tiller were uialiciously inclined by nature. - Their mutual enuiity had originated in a feud between ("aptain Seth's terrier, Ihe aforementioned Pickle, and Mrs. Hesper's tortoise-shell cat, Pink. Pink was pftrtial to her noon-day siesta on the top of ;he paling separating the two lots, which proceeding Pickle regarded as an intrusión upon his personal rights, and resentBd accordingly. The lftdy took part with ber cat, and the Captain espoused the oaiiBe of his dog. Captain Seth called Miss Hesper a spitoful cat, and she retorted by informing him that ' he and that other dog' wero the pest of the neighborhood. Henee the present bitterness of feeling between the two. The Captain went out and got an expensive, unsatisfactory and badly cooked supper, at the only public house in the little seafaring town wherein he resided. He camo home cold and miserable ; and, unable to find matches, groped his way to bed in darkness. The morning brought him no comfort. There were things to be ' set to rights,' ' chores' to do, pots and pans to be scoured, his clothes to bo mended, and washed ; and Captain 8eth lookl ed around with a sort of despair. For the first time in his lifo there dawned upor his miud a perception of the usef ulnesa o: wonien. . .... For a day or two the Captain led this miserablo mode of existence, and as the time approached for embarking on his next voyage, he looked upon that and his prospective return with a species of forlorn horror. ' Somebody'll break into tho house and robit!' 'or tho thing'U get inusty and mouldy, with being shut up without any fire ; and - look at thom duda o' mine.' Ho frowned wrathfully at a heap of sailor's clothes lying in one corner of the room, all of which wantod washing, and aome of which stoód in great need of repairing ; and Nancy had always kopt them so neat and whole. Look 'ere,' said Captain Tiller, rising, and with his back to thu stovo, his legs astride, and his hand in his pockets. apostrophising tho furniture in general. - ' Look 'ere, this stato o' things won't do no longer ; I ve had enough of it. Aman can't be expected toliveliko a wild Injun. I'U got married ! Captain Tiller ras a man of hia word, and who, having uiado up his raind to a thing, was sure to act promptly upon it. He sat down, now, on a three.legged stool bef jre the fire, and leauing bis elbows upon Lis knecs, uieditated. In three days he would sail, whorefore thero was a necessity for prompt action. 'Let'ssee.'said Captain Tiller, thoughtfully ; ' it'U be better to take a widder, I guess. Widders are inoro steady than t'others ; and more usod to things, and won't expect any courting, and that sort o' nonaense. Kot a young widder, though. They're apt to bo ttighty.' Tnon he mused again, and mu8od within himself that the ouly one he knew answering to his rcquisition was the widow Tryon. Yes; he'd marry the widow Tiyon. And, with a slap on the knoe, ns of one who had arrived at a fínal and satis - faotory conclusión, clapped his sou'wester upon his head, buttoned up his pca-jackot and betook himselt' to that lady's abode. ' Good inornin', widder !' said Captain Seth as, in answer to his knook at the door, Mrs. Tryon appeared in a tidy cap and apron, and with her bare irmsdusted with flour, while an appotizing odor of cookies issued from the comtortable kitchen. At that smell, the visitor's heartenlarged, and hia nostrila expanded as those of a war-horse who hears from afar the din of the battle. ' Why, laws-a-uiercy, is it you, Cap'in Tiller? Hope nothin'a happened - leastwise sence Nancy's run away and got married ï' ' That's jest it, widder, responded the Captain, gloomily shaking his head. - ' That's jest what is the matter. How Nancy cauie to uiake such a fooi of herself, when she'd a good home, aud clothes, and victuals, and the wholo house to herself when I'in away - ' ' Now, that's what I cali onreasonable of you, Cap in Seth, interrupted Mrs. Tryon, seriously taking up the cause of her sex, as she wiped the flour frora her hands, and out of respect to her visitor sat down to her kuitling. ' A wonian's a woman, and niustn't be expected to deny herself everything for sake 'o clothes and victuals. She must hev somebody to keer for her more than a brotber's likely to do. It'g only nature, after all. What'd becomo o' the world if everybody tooit to leadiu' singlo lives, I'd like te know 'r Well, I guess there's sonie Bense in that, widdtr,' quotb the Captain, scratching bis head under his sou'wester ; and I'ni rather rejieed to hear you express them sentiuient8 sein' as it'll likely help us to an agreement on a pint I've come to propose.' ' Ah !' said Mrs, Tryon, putting back the border of her cap, and pricking up her ears. ' You see,' resumed he ia a business-like manner, ' a man can't do to hum without a woman to look around and see arter things. It's their business, you know. - We can't go rubbin' and scrubbin' round in tho kitchens nnd bed-rooms. Now, I've heerd from lïancy that you're a notablo housekeeper and manager.' 1 Oh, you want me to keep house for you mebbe.' 'About that,' replied the Captain, staring steadfastly into the fire.' i 'Wbat salary 'i' ' Why, I wasu't jest calculatiu' upon a salary. I thought wc might go into partnership together, if it's agreeable, I'm a plain business man, as you know, widder; and all I've got to say is, that if you'll bo Mrs. Captain Seth Tiller- ' ' Stay a minute, if you please, cap'in i' exulaimed the lady, hastily jumping up. ' I do believe them cookies is burning !' He waited patiently while 8he busied horself about the oven. ïhen she came back, wiping her hoated face on her clean apron, and placidly resumed hor seat and her knitting. ' Well, widder, what's the agreement 'il inquired the suitor, then. ' Why, you see, Captain Tiller,' she answered, slowly and thoughtfully. ' I've been considerin' of it while tendin' them cookieH, and I about made up my mind that I noedn't be in a hurry to marry again. I've had my sbare of iv wife's trouble, and I feel liko takin' a little rest to myself now, as I go downward into the valley of the shadder, whcru we'll all find our everlastin' rest.' ' I might, perhaps, help you on the way, you kuow,' said the captain, argumentatively. 'I'm obliged to ou,' she responded, with a sigh ' but I'm pretty strong yet, thanks be to goodness, and can get along well enough without help - leastwiso tor a spell longer.' ' Woll.' said Captain Tiller, slowly risine, ' if that's your resolution, I needn't waste no more o' your or my valuable time about it, I calcúlate. Good mornin', widder.' ' Stay a minit, cap'in ! Won't you have some cookies and a cup o' tea afore you go'r' 'No, thankyou.mariu. I'm obleegod to you the same. Good moruiaV And the captain walked home, and sat down on the three-lcgged stool, and gazed iuto the iire, as befoie. The result of his wooing had been to hitu altogcther unexpected. Here was a woman who had aotuallyreceived and rejected a proposal without giving it more than a tuoinent's thought ! I guess she's too oíd and worn out, as she say8,' he cogitated, ' and I must look out for a younger widder, who'd likely not be incliued to think 80 hard ot tne matter. ïhere's Miss Fuller- she as was Melissy Brown, if I reuiember rightly. She's 'bout thirty. Bather too young i'or iny idea; but I s'pose I must put up with t.' No sooner thought of than actod upon. Miss Fuller was in her garden planting hollyhock roots. She wore a flounced calicó dress and a girlish white apron, elaborately rufflod and looked, as the captain thought, liko a taut-rigged schooner under full sail. For an iuBtant his heart misgave him, thougb he feit reassured by the gracious smile with which he was received, as the young widow furtively adjusted hor front hairbeneath her sun bonnet and gave the latter itself a coquettish tilt on her htad. ' Well, Miss Fuller, you're preparin' tor spring betimes, I see. Fancy garden truck, eh '(' To be sure, Captain ! I like flowers and othor pretty thmgs. Don't you?' answered she, with a sidelong glance of her black eyes. ' Weli, I scarcely know, replied the captain, doubtfully. To iny inind there's uothin' prettiar than- ' 'Thanwhat?' urged Miss Fuller, pretending to look unconsoious. ' Than a net full o' fine herrin'g. You ought to seen my last load, all alivo an' kicking and squirming and sparkling - like - ' tho oaptain was not reinarkablo for a lively fancy, so he added - 'liko nothin' but fresh herrin's can squirni and sparkle!' The widow stooped down and grubbed at a tnarigold root. 1 1 hate herrings,1 said she. Yes 'Í Well, now, that!8 rather unfortunate. The woman that takes ma must take my herrin's likewise.' ' Why, who's goin to take you r' ' Why, I hope she ain't very far ofï,' said the captain significantly ; ' leastwise. not outside this 'ere garden.' ' You don't mean me ?' ' Well, p'raps I do mean you.' 'Humph !' said tho widow with a toss of hersun-bonnot, and a short laugh. 'Well, I inust say this i a queer way to como a courtin' !' ' Oh !' 8aid tho sailor, a littlo crestfallen, ' I don't sot up to bo muoh in tho oourtin' line, liko tho young aparks horeabouta. - You and me ain't noither one of uschickens, you know, Miss Fuller ; so we can arrange sensible-liko without any nonsenso of that kind.' Arrango what'r' inquirod the lady, flashing her daik eyes rathur ominously upon the captain. 'Why, about our marriage, you know.' ' As if I would havo you !' she burst forth, angrily : ' A man that walks into my garden, suddenly, in his workday clothes, and, without even settin' down, or sayin' a word o' courtin' fordency's sake teil nio Ttu no chicken, and asks me downright to urrange for marrying him, jest as he'd ask to buy a green goose, _or a sucking-pipr for his Sunday's dinner !' And without another word the widow Fuller flounced into tho house, whilo the disappointed suitor walked rather blankly out at the gate. ' They're a hard set, thein widders, h meditated. 111 give 'em up, I guess, and take a single womau. But I won't have a young, skittish one, to be rampaging about while Tra out o' the way. There's M iss Charity Hobson. She's a goed man - ager, and I guess she'll do 'bout as well as any.' He had turned in the direction of Miss Charity'8 house, when he remembered Mr. Fuller's hint about his clothes. So ho went home, put on a gorgeous flowered vest - kept for state occasions- rubbed a handfull of hog's-lard iuto his hair, anointed his boots with the same, and set forth with renewed vigoi on his wifehunting expedition. Miss Charity looked up grimly as he entered her neat kitchen, and placing a chair for him, herself took another at tbc opposite 8ide of the room. It wasn't her custum to receive tho vibits of single men alone in her house, as she often said. 'Perhaps, becauso tbey nevercame!' said the neighbors. ' You're lookin' uncommonly well, Miss Hobson,' said the captain, planting hia hands on his knees, and gazing at her with what. he meant to be on amiablo smile- mindful, from his late experience, that it might be necessary to do a littlo in the courting line before popping the question. 'l'm pretty well, I thank you,' ecl the lady dnly. ' And monstrous snug and comfortable lookin',' resuraed the suitor, glancing around. ' But ain't you a little lonesome at times?' ' Not I! I've got a dog and two cats- thom as you see there ; and mean to have a mocking bird as soon's Jabez Long eau git one for me. So, IVe got no reason to be lonesome.' ' But cats and dogs ain't human critters, Miss Hobson,' said Captain Tiller, insinuatingly. ' I reckon I don't need to be told that, captain. They ain't human creeters, but 8omething better, if anything.' ' Not equal to a husband, may be, Miss Hobson- or baby ' ' A what !' shrieked Miss Charity, fiercely glaring over her gpectacles. ' Oh, nothin' particular. Only I'd think it would be a melancholy thing for a woman to be all alone with a lot o' cats and doga, as she's gettin' on into the downhill o' life, and'- he reniembered Mrs. ïyron's expression - 'and the valley o" the shadder. Cats and dogs can't lick away the wrinklea from her face, nor bring down her gray hairs with - pleasure to tho grave.' ' Cap'in Tiller,' said Miss Hobson, laying down on her lap the stoeking she was knitting, and looking at him with ft flush on her sallow cheek- 'Captain Tiller, I'd like to know, once for all, what you mean 't" He saw that she was angry. He didn t know why - but he feit it incumbent on him to soothe and please her. So he drew his chair across the floor and sat down close beside her. ' Come, now, let' you and ir.e have a friendly understandin' together.' said he, looking coaxingly into her face. 'I'm sure I've got none but the softest kind o feeliugs to'ard you, and I don't see why you shouldn'treciporate.' And, to add point to his worde, he put his left arm acrosR the back of her chair, and with his right forefinger touched her delicately and playfully in the ribs. Miss Charity Hobson bounded from her seat as though a bomb-shell had exploded boneath her. ' Git out o' this house,' she shriekeü, ' I'll let you know how to come round siug a lone wüinan, and in her own house, too! Here, Blinker! at him ! Ketch him ! ' and with Blinker at heels, and Miss Hobson following wratbfully in his wake, the innocent-rainded Captain Tiller made his exit from the house which he had enterad with such amiable intentions. Very dejectedly he walked homo. It wasn't such an easy thing, after all, to get a wife ; and he feit tor the present completely discouraged from any further attempt in that line. Moodily he sat down on the bottom of a tub- he rarely took a chair, unless coinpeiled- and he uiused npon his adverse fate. He feit humbled and forlorn. Jlease, sir, uiissis has sent you some Bupper.' whined a very sinall voice behind him; and the captain turning, beheld Miss Husper Bitting's small servant bearing in her arms a very large tea-tray, laden with good things. There was a pitcher of steaming coffee, a píate of hot, buttered cakes, a nice eteak, with onions, and other good things, all done to perfection. Poor Captain Tiller's heart warmed at the sight, even in the niidst of his a8tonishment. ' You don't inpan to say,' he reinarked to the very small soivant- 'you don't mean to say that she- that Miss Bittings sent me theEe 'ere fixingg '( ' ' Yes sir, she did so,' responded the diminutive handmaiden, eagerly. ' She said she oouldn't abide to see even a dog livin' in such a way and eating sich victuals.' The captain wasn't offeuded. He feit too much subdued for that now, and, bosides, the sight of that supper tray would have overeóme any feeling of rising wrath in his boBom. Ho was even sensible of a trlow of cratitude, and, under the enoe of this emotion, ho took down frora the mantle-shelf a stuffed, greeu parrot, glued to a sea shell, and thrust it into the hands of tho suiall maidcn. ' Thore, niy leetlo gal,' he said, 'thero s something for your trouble ; and say to your missie, I'm highly oblceged for her kindness.' He emptied the content of the plate, and dishes into crockery of his own, and without thinking of washing the former, sent them back to their owner, together with the sm!ll model of a fishing-sinack, wrought by himsolf in his hours of leisure while on shore, Miss Hesper laughed when she beheld these things. ' Poor man,' she eaid, ' he hasn't got a bad heart, after all ; and it wonld be ft pity to let him starre.' So next day she sent mm a daintuy cooked dinner. Miss Hesper,1 said captain Tiller, that afternoon, rather slyly, nddrsssing her as ' she at at her wimdow mwIbE. ' wlan t you like to hev your fencc-palings fixed up a bit f1 I see they're broko through.' ' Why, it would be a convenience to have thoin palings mendcd,' she admitted. Whercupon Captain Seth set to work, and with batniner ond nails, manfnlly repaired thu fence. ' Jost cali on me whenever you're in necd o' sich jobs,' ho reniarked, ainiably, when it was completed. 'And I'll do your oooking for you wliile you're ashore, captain,' responded the grateful Miss Bittings. A suddori light flashed on the mind of Captain Seth. Why had he never beforo thought of this? ' Miss Hesper, you don't mean to say that you"ll forgive Picklo for worrying your Pink ?" 4 Why, ho is a worrying dog,' the lady replied dubiously. ' I'll send him away ! said tho captain, magnaniinously. ' La ! what an idoa, captain ! Oh, no ! let the critters alono. I daré say they'll yet be friends, affer awhile. It's all our duties to bo friendly to one another, you know.' 'To besure,' acquiesced the captain, heartily. ' Wheretore, it follers that you and uie ought to be friends, as well as Pickle and Pink.' ' I'in sure I've no wish to be otherwise with anybody,' said Miss Hesper, iookingdown qeietly at her knitting. ' Then,' said the captain slowly, and somewhat diffidently, 'mebbe you would uot object to- - ' 'To what, Captain?' ' To enter into a kinder partnership, yoo and rae togethor - to be a help to oneanother. I'm willin' to do what help I can for you and uiy fellow-creeters, I hope and believe, responded Miss Bittings, piously. ' It's iny duty, when I seo a foriorn body in need of help to do what I can to inake 'era comfortable. After this, very few words were uecessary ; and an hour subsequent. Captain Seth Tiller was seen with a boauiing couutpnance, entering the gao of P.irsou Dempster's yard. And tho next day the twain- that is. Captain Seth Tiller and Miss Hesper Bittings - were made one. That ovening, as he sat at a luxuiious supper with his wite, to the great admiration of the sraall hand-iuaiden, and the apparent bewilderment of Pickle and Pink, the followingnote was leitforhim : ' Captain Tiller, I've beeu considerin' of what you said, and, as second thought's wisest. hav come to the conclusión that it will bo a comfort to hev a hand to help me down in the valley of the shadder, Yourstruly, WlDDER Tryon.' 'Durn the valley o' the shadder,' ex - claimed Captain Tiller, throwing aside the note, and betaking himself anew to his oysttrs. The tempting bivalves were scarcely disposed of, when a hard knock at tha doorheralded a hard voice, which inquired: ' Capt'in Tiller at hum V ' Yes'm,' responded the small handmaiden, promptly. ' Then givo him this,' said the hard yoico, and a bit of paper, folded triangularly was thrust into the girl's hand, while hasty steps were heard retreating. The paper ccntained these mysterious words, in pencil : 'If Captain Tiller will step around at Miss C. Hobson's - and hope3 he will excuse Blinker, which she kuows and '. lievea his intenlions was not to be rude , to her, and a mistake on C. H.'s part - I . will bu much pleased to see him. : ' C. H.' 'Durned if I go,' muttered Captain Tiller, lighting his pipe. ' Why, what's it all about ?' inquired his bride, glancing somewhat suspiciously at the two notes. So the Captain told her. Humph!' saidMrs. Seth Tiller; and sat thinking rather moodily. ' You see,' suggested her spouse deprecatingly, 'I hadn't an idea then that you'd hev me.' 1 Pleaso sir,' said the maid, with very big eyes, ' here's a boy come and brought another letter.' 'Let's seeit,' said Mrs. Seth cxercising her matrimonial privilege. And she read aloud the following, written on pink tinted paper, and sealed in an cmbossed envelope : ' Deak Captain Tiller : - Been expecting you round to-day. Hope no olfense ; as you know when a woman's took by surprise, she's obliged to say what sho don't always mean. I'm to home this evening from 7 to 10. Truly you rs. ' Melissa Fulleb.' Well.' said the captain, running his fingors through hifi huir, ' if this don't beat all I ever saw ! Buin critters, thein wonien !' ' And bold enonzh, sotne of 'em.' joined iu Mrs. Tiller. ' To be inaking proposals to a married man !' ' Why, you see they don't know yet that I'm inarried.' 'Then, best let them know it ut once. Supposo you accept all their invitations right away, and take mo along by way of explanation, you know.' The captain chuckled with an inward appreciation of his bride's cleverness and wit. He took her advice, and the pair mado their round of bridal calis niuch to their own satisfaction, if not to that of the recipieuts thereof. Mis. Tryon sighed, Widow Fuller laughed - somewhat hysterically, it jmust be confessed- and Mis8 Hobson talked of a snit lor breach of promise. Xot one of the three ever forgave hiru.