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A Lecturer Nonplussed

A Lecturer Nonplussed image
Parent Issue
Day
20
Month
February
Year
1874
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

You ïnay remember that I lectured lately tor tho young gentlemen of the Clayoniah Society ? During the afternoon of that day I was talking with ono of the young gentlemen referred to, and he said he had an uncle who, trom sonie cause or other, seemed to have grown permanently bereft of all emotion. And, with tears in nis eyes, this young man said : " Olí, if I could only seo hini laugh once more 'i Oh, if I could only see him weep." I was touched. I could miver withstand distress. I said : " Bring him to my lccture. l'll start him fór you." " Oh, if you oould but do it ! If you could but do it, all our family would bless you forevermoro ; for ho is very doar to us. Oh, my bonefactor, can you make him laugh V Can you bring soothing toars to those parched orbs V I was profoundly moved. I said : " My son bring tho old party ai'ound. I have got some jokes in my lecture that will make him laugh, if thero is any laugh in him ; and, if they miss fire, I have got some others that 11 uiako hun cry or kul him, one or the other." Then tho young man wept on iny neck, and prescntly spread both hands on my head and looked ui) toward heaven, mumbling something reverontly ; and then he went after his unolo. He placed hini in full view in the socond row of benches, that night, and I began on him. I tried him with mild jokes - then with severo ones ; I dosod him with bad jokes, and riddled him with good ones ; 1 fired old, stalo jokes into him, and peppered him foro and aft with red-hot new ones. I warmed up to my work, and assaultod him on the right and left, in front and behind ; I f umed, and charged, and ranted, till I was hoarse and sick, and frantic and furious ; but I never moved him onco - I never started a smile or a toar ! Never a ghost of a smile, and never a suspicion of moisturo ! I was astounded. I closed tho lecture at last with one degpairing shriek- with one wild buist of humor - and hurled a joko of supernatural atrocity full at him. It nover phasod him ! Then I sat down bewildered and exhausted. The President of the society oame up and bathed my head -.vith cold wator, and said : "Wkat made you cirry on so toward the last?" I said, "I was trying to uaako thatconfounded old idiot laugh, in the second row." And he said, " Well, you were wasting your time ; because he is deaf and dumb, and as blind as a badger." Now was that any way for that old man's nephew to iuipose upon a stranger and an orphan like uie i-

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus