The Country Hoss Jockey

For a red hot speshiality yu hav got to hunt kreashun clusa to find an equal to tbe country hoss jockey. Ho is most allwas a man ov plezant temperament and urbane mannerg, vain ov hiz opinyuns, often of more fancy than judgment, and quick to decide. He haz but little real affeckshun for a hoss, and only luvs him for the cheat that iz in bim. He iz alwuss reddy to trade for ennything, from a yerling colt to the cavelry hoss that Gen. Washington rode at the battle ov Brandywine. He never knows when he gits cheated, and invariably beleaves the last nag he got iz the best one he ever owned. He iz not bothered with enny conshence when it cums to a trade, and would lay out a traveling preacher in a swop just as quick as he would hiz own brother, and do it without enny malice, but j ust for the honor ov the profession. He alwuss fully beleaves he kan look rite thru a hoss from top to toe, but there iz no one gets cheated ofteuer, or wuss, than he duz. Hiz cunning disarms him, and often when he thinks he iz fairly trading his opponent kloan out ov a hoss, the other fellow iz not only trading him out ov a hoss, but a harness into the bargain. Thare ain't a vil] age in America ov 200 voters but what haz its perrenial hoss jockey, who kan bo found at enny time at the village inn, reddy to " odd or even " for a whisky toddy, or swop a spavined pelter for a wind-broken, cribbiting ter. I never knu one of this fraternity to git ritch, and i never knu one y et but what fully beleaved there waz more munny in i tthan in enny legitímate bizzness. I don't kno whi it iz that a man kan swop cows and be pious, or kan trade oxen and be a good deakon, or even negoshiate dogs and be looked upon az virteous, but when he takes up the hoss swop entarprize, if he kant cheat he ain't happy. I never hav seen a hoss jockey yot who waz honest from principie ; i hav known them, once in a while, to be honest from policy. The man who iz simply honest from policy needs more watching tüan a hive ov bees who are setting ready to swarm.