Humorous

Skelbton keys- " Picked " turkeys. It is not falling into the water, but lying in it tb at drowns. Whbre Satan oannot go himself, he takes ine as his messonger. Editors gain a living in a sanctummoney-us way. - Ybnkers Oazeite. In Paraguay, girls are not allowed to ohew tobáceo till they are tliirteen. Thp.y have kisising faira in Iowa for the benefit of the churohes- price ten cants a kiss. It is n Germán boast that no American, Irishman, or Englishman can sell lager and make it pay. John Smith, of London, lan away with two Miss Mores, and they are af ter him and his pair-o'Mores. A Jersey City lady shot a hackman through the hand for overcharging her, and she reeeives one hundred congratulatory letters per day. The dignity of labor - Martha - "Oh, if ye please 'm, it's the washy-weman ! " Party with bundie-" Beggin'yer parding, Miss, it ain't. It's the larndress ! " -Punch. Á Cinoinnati young man sent a note to his girl asking at what timo he should cali, and received in return the following brief billetdonx : " Deer Jon - Oomet aípastate. Mauy." A man having a bilí against a distant merchant, sent a letter of inquiry to a baaker ín that locality. The reply was, " He is dead ; but he paya now as well as he ever did." " Jitlius, can yon teil me how Adam got out of Eden ?" " Well, I s'pose he clum de fence." "No; dat ain't it." " Wel, den he borrowed a wheelbarrow and walkedout." "No." "I gub it up, den." " He got snaked out." "Do yotj know why you are like the third term ?" said Susan to her brother, who lingered to talk witb her Adolphus after the oíd folks had retired. " No. I don't." " Well," replied his saccharine sister, " its because you're one too many." When a cultivated Louisvillian meets a stranger at a watering-place he forthwith feels called upon to air his French. He bowa, smilea, and remarks, " Avves woose ? " and growa enthusiastic over the Parisian accent of the reply, " Wasinhellsmatteroyou ? " " Mamma, where do the eojvs get the milk ? " asked Willie, looking up from the foaming pan of milk -which he had been intently regarding. " Where do you get your tears ? " was the answer. After a thoughtful silence he again broke out : " Mamma, do the cows have to be spanked? " Some poor fellow who had been jilted, we should judgp, and brought to grief by some fair one, thus revenges his wrongs : "Eve did not know as much as her daughters of the present day. Had they been iu her place, instead of being deceived, they would have deceived the devil."