Leaving Out The Jokes

Some people are bright enongh to enjoy a good joke, but do not have retentive memories, so as to be able to repeat it to others. Failnres of this kind are sometimes very ludicrous. We give some good specimens. The most famous of this classwas the college professor, who, on parting with a student that had called on him, doticed that he had a new coat, and remarked that it was too short. The student, with an air of resignation, replied : " It will be long enough before I get another." The professor enjoyed the joke hearfily, and going to a meeting of the college faculty just afterward. he entercd the room in grea glee, and said : " Young Sharp got of sueh a joke just now. He called on me a littls while ago, and aa he was ieaving 1 noticed his new coat, and told him it ■was too short, and he said, ' It will be a leng time before I get another.' " No nt lnnolipd. fiTid the nrofessor soberinc; iown, remaïked : "It doesn't seem n funny as when ho said it." A red haired lady who was ambitious of liteiary distinotion found but poor sale for lier book. A gentleman, in epeaking of her cl isappoin tinent, said : " Her hair is red (cead), if her book is not." An auditor, in attempting to relate the joke elsewhere, eaid : " She has red hair if her book hasn't." ïhe most uuf ortunate attempt at reproducing another's wit was made by an Ecglishman who didn't understand the puc, but judged from the applause with which it was greeted that it must be excellent. During a dinner at whioh he was a guest, a waiter let a boiled tongue slip off the plate on whioh he was bearing it, and it feil on the table. The host at once apologized for the mishap as a "lapsus lingu" (slip of the tongue(. The joke was the best tliing at the dinner, and onr friend concluded to bring it up at his own table. He accordingly invited his company and instructed a servant to let fall a roast of beef as he was bringing it to the table. Wlien the "accident" curred, he exclaüned: " That's a ' lapbus liuguoB.'" Nobody laughed, and 10 suid again, "I say tliat's a lapsus iugusB," aud still no one laughed. A screw was loóse somewhere ; so he told about the tongue falling, and they did laugh. "Why isthis," said a-waiter, holding up a coininoü cooliing utensal, "more remarkable than Napoleon Bonaparte ? Becatise Napoleon was agreat man, ut this is a grater." When the funny man reproduced it in his circle, he askeil the questinn right, but answered it, " Because Napoleon was a great man, bnt this is a nntmcg grater."