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Grasshoppers In His Stomach--a Nebraska Relief Agent In Trouble

Grasshoppers In His Stomach--a Nebraska Relief Agent In Trouble image
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He was a rolief agent from Nebraska and went into a St. Louis saloon. He had eaten nothing but grashoppers since the 4th of July, 1874, and bis stomaoh was in an awful condition - it was full of grassboppeis ! He had left a wií'e and nine famished ohildren at borne and had come to colleet funds to save bis noijhbors from starvation. If tbe barkeeper would aceommodate hiui witb a spoonful oí' whisky - it was the only thing tbat would keep the grasshoppers quit in his itomaoh. He bad no money, but if the barkeopor would trust bim for a few drops of crowfuot, he would remunérate him out of his flrst collections for the surr'urers. By adding a little peppermint and a few grains of s-igar to the liquor, the medicino would be more potent ; or if there was no peppermint convenient, a drop of ginger would do as wull. The barkteper deeply syrnpathizert with the grasshopper-strickeu people of Nebraska. He poured two taljlespoonfuls of the essence of Jamacia ginger into a tumbler, added an equal quantity of pepperauce, sbook iu a thimbleful of cheyenne pepperj emptied a smrtll vial of sulphuric acid on top, and tben sprinkled a few drops of tauglefoot over tbe mixture, and handing the tumbler to the Nubraskiau, told him to "swallowit quick." The grasshopperstricken etranger waited for no second iuvitation, but pourud tbe decoctiou lown his throat with one feil swallow. " How do you liko it 't" askod the bar keeper. The grasshopper indivicual made no rejjly. His eyes rolled in their sookets, and the tears ran out oí' them in streams. Ilis mouth was open wide enough to swallow the barkeeper and all bis decanters. He placed both hands ovei hia stomaoh and cast an imploring glance toward the water pitcher. " Do you fefel 'em crawl V" said the barkeeper in the anxious tono of a sick nurse. The stranger made no reply, but continued to prees his storuach and water the floor with hia tears. "Take some of this horse radish," said the barkeeper ; " it will do you good." The stranger still mado no reply, but gradually his mouth grew smaller, and his lipa contracted, and the air rushed into his throat with a whistling sound, like the winter wind through a broken window paue. At length the bar-keeper took compassion upon his writhing customer aud gave him a glass of icewater to cool his throat. When the stranger was able to speak, he looked reproachfully at the " medicine man," and said : "See here, stranger, if that's the kind of stuff you give a mau for graashoppers, I'd like to know what in thunder you'd give a feller if he had a tape worm."


Old News
Michigan Argus