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How "primaries" Are Managed

How "primaries" Are Managed image
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Honeatus saw with joy the notice of an approaching primary meeting, and when the evening arrived he hastened to the hall with the pleasing consciousness that he was discharging a great public duty. He reaohed the hall, and -was heartily welcomed by the observant managers, whom, if he had had Titbottom's spectacles at hand, he would have seen to be foxes - at least. They were very glad indeed to see Honestas and men like him engaging iu politics. They saw in the f act the augury of a better day. It was a peculiar pleasure to co-operate with him, and they trusted that this was the beginning of a good habit upon his part. Honestus could not help thinking how easy it was to exaggerate, and to suppose men to be a great deal worse than they are, and wondered that he had never before taken the trouble - or, rather, fulfllled the duty- of attending primary meetings. The proceedings began, and he was exeeedingly iuterested. Officers were appointed, and it was evident from their speeches that nothing but honesty was to be sou#bt. and only men of the most spotless ohai-acter nominated. But it was necessary to have a coinmittee upon nominations ; and to his surprise and gratifleation Honestus heard his own name mentioned as one of the committee, and almost blushed as he was appointed its chairman. The committee was requested to withdraw and report the uames of candidates as soon as possible. Honestus and bis colleagues therefore retired to a dim passage-way - where, as he subsequently remarked, he i should have been rafhef alaïmed to meel either of them at night and alone - and business began. Various names were mentioned, of which, unfortunately, Honestus had never heard one ; and at length one of the most positive of the committee said, emphatically, that, upon the whole, Jones was the very man for the place. There was a general murmur of assent and satisfaction. Honestus heard on every side that it was "just ttie thing ;" that Jones was an A 1 boy, "and that he was "always there ;" he was also "square," and "right up to the line ;" and by common consent Jones seemed to be the Heaven-appointed cauilidate. Bather disturbed at his total ignorance of this conspicuous publia character, Honestas turned to his neighbor and said, guardedly, with the air of a man who was musing upon Jones' qualificationa, "Oh, Jones - Jones ?" "Yes," said his neighbor, "Jones.1"Certainly," replied Honestus ; "certainly. But- who is - Jones ?" His neighbor looked at him for a moment, and repeated tlio quostion in a tone of inoredulity - "Who is .Tonca f" - as if he had said, who is George Washington ? "Yes; I don't think that I know him." "Don't know Jones ?" "No." "Well, if you did know him, you'd know that he's just the man we want ; bang up made for it." "Oh. heis?" "You bet- A 1." "Well," naid the member who had flrst announoed that Jones was the very man for the place, "I suppose they'll be waiting. I nomínate Jones as the candidate." The ehairman said yes, but that unfortunately for himself he did not know Mr. Jones. "Well, you don't know anything against him, do you ?" asked the other. "Certamly not. "Well, we all know him, and he is the very man. We ought to hurry. Honestus put the question, and Jones was unanimously named as the candidate to be reported to the meeting by the chairman. The meeting was already stamping and clapping and calling for the committee, and the energetic mover of Jones 8íiid that it was necessary to go in "right away." The committee made for the hall, and the chairman followed. He knew nothing of Jones nor of the people who had named him, and he knew nobody else whpm he could propose for the place. Honestus feit very much as a leaf might feel upon the fall at Niágara, and in the next moment the chairman of the meeting was asking him if the committee were ready to report. The chairman of the committee bowed. The chairman of the committee stiitci that he was instructed to report the name of Jones. The meeting roared. Ther9 ■was Rome thumping by the chairman. Honestus hëard only the name of Jones and "by acclamation" and wliirlwind of calis upon "Jones!" "Jones!" "Jones!" "Speech!" "Speech!" The next moment Jones, with a large (Hauond pin, was npon the platform thanking and promising, and the meeting was stormily cheering and adjourning xine die. Honestus walked quietly home, perceivmg that the resnlt of his practical effort to discharge the primary duties of a citizen was that Jones, one of the most dis reputable and disbonest of publi sharks, had been nominated by a com mittee of which he was chairman, an( that the whole weight of the name o Honestus was thrown upon the side o rascality with a diamond pin. And h reflected that in politica, as elsewhere, i is necessary to begin as early in prepara tion for action as the rascáis. Stanley saya that African mosquitoe are as big as a Kentucky che w of tobaoco


Old News
Michigan Argus