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What He Wanted

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The bolt on the back door had needed replacing for a long tirae, but it was only the other night that Mr. Throcton ha.i the presenc of inind to buy a new one and take it homo Af tor Bupper he hunted up his tools, removed the old bolt and moasured the location lor tiie new one. He must bore somo new holes, and Mr. Throcton heard him roaming round the kitchen and woodahed, slamming doors, pulling out drawers and kicking the furniture around She went to the head of the stairs and called down: "Richard, do yon want anything ?" "Yea, I do !" ho yeUed back. "I want to kuow where in Texas that corkscrew is." "Oorkscrew, Bielmrd?" "Yes, corksorew, ltichard ! I'vo Jpoked the house over and can't find it !" "Why, we never had one, Bichard !" "Didn't, eh ! We've had a dozen of 'em in the last two years, and I bought ono not four weeks ago. It's always the way when I want anything." "But you must be out of your head, husband," she said, as she descended the stairs. "We've kept house seven years, aml I never remember of seeing you bring a corkscrew homo." "Oh, yes, I'm out of my head, I am 1' he grumbled, as he pulled out the sewing machine drawer and turned over its content. "Perhaps I'd better go to the lunatic asylum right away !" "Well, Bichard, I know that T have never seen a corkscrow in this house. " "Then you are as blind as an owl in daylight, for I've bought five or six ! The house is always upside down, anyhow, and I never can find auything !" "The house is kept as well as any of your foto can keep one !" she retorted, growing red in tho face. "I'dlike my mother here to show you a few things," he said as he stretched his neck to look on tho high shelf in the pantry. "Perhapa she'd boil her spectacles with the potatoes again !" answered the wife. "Do you know who you are talking to !" he yelled, as he jumped down. "Yes, Ido!" "Well, you'll be going to York Stat if you don't look out !" "I'd like to see myself ! When I go this house goes !" -_-uf' "Look out, Nancy !" "I'm af raid of no man that lives, Bichard Throcton :" "I'llleave you !" "And I'll laugh to see you go !: Going close up to her he extended his finger, shook it to emphaaize his words, and slowly said: "Nancy Throcton, I'll apply for a divorce to-morrow 1 I'll teil thé judge that I kindly and lovingly asked you where the gimlet was, and you said we'd never had one in the house, which is a bold falsehood, as I can prove !" "Gimlet !" she gasped. "Yes, gimlot !" "Why, I know whore are three or four. You said corkscrew !" "Did I ?" he gasped, sitting down on the corner of the table ; 'well, now, I believe Idid!" "And you went and abused me like a slavebecause I wouldu't say a gimlet was a corkscrew!" she sobbed, falling on the lounge. "Nancy," he said, tcnderly lifting her up. "Oh, Biohard !" she chokingly answered. "Nancy, I'll go right out doors and kill myse'lf !" "No, you needn't - I love you still ! only - only - you know a gimlet ia uot a corkscrew !" "It aiu't - it ain't, Nancy ; forgimme, and less be happy !" And that household is so quietly happy that a canary bird would sing its head


Old News
Michigan Argus