Mrs. Jones' Elopement

Mr. Jones carne home that afternoon feeling cross and tired. Business had been dull, and the clerks had been provoking. When he f elt out of norte as he did that day, anicesupperand bis wife's oompany veré the best antidotes he knew of, andhehoped to havethem effect a cure in this instance, as they often had in other instances. But Mrs. Jones was ont, the girl said. She had been busy in her room all the afternoon ; she didn't know what she was doing. About an hour ago sho had put on her bonnet and gone out, and had oharged her to teil her husband, ■when he carne home, that she would not be back until late in the evening. "Gone out on particular business, she said," added Bridget. "On particular business !" growled Jones. "I'd like to know what particular business she has ? I should say it ■was a wife's business to stay at home. She knew, of cotirse, that I was coming home completely tired out, but that doesn't interfere with her pleasure in the least. She can enjoy herself justthe same - probably all the more, because I am out of the way. I wish I knew where she'd goDe." He went up to her room to see if she had worn some of her best clothes. "Because if she has," reasoned Mr. Jonea, "she's gone off to have a good time with some one she cares more for than she does for me." Mr. Jones' brow was black as any thunder-cloud at the thought. He was in precisely the right frame of mind to make mountains out of mole-hills. But she hadnt worn any of her new dresses. "It can't be she's going to a party, then," ooncluded Mr. Jones, "or she'd have rigged up more. It must be she's going somewhere else, and wants to keep dark. It begins to look mysterious. A woman don't generally go off in this way, without saying something to her husband, and wear her old clothes, without it's meaning something, I've observed," Baid Mr. Jones, solemnly, to the Mr. Jones in the glass. "I'd like to know what it all does mean, anyhow" It was just at this juncture that Mr. Jones discovered a letter on Mrs. Jones' writing-desk. It was a freshly written page, beginning, "Dear Edward." Mr. Jones' hair raised on end when hifl eagle eye caught the sight of that name. What awful thing had he discovered ? Could it be that his wife was in the habit of writing letters to gentlemen ? Perhaps she has gone out to meet one now. He read the letter through, without stopping to take breath, from beginning toend. It read as follows : ''Dear Edward : - I have read your touching appeal over and over, untü every word is stamped upon my heart. It has caused me to fíght a terrible battle with myself. I love you, and there is no use for me to deny it. I cannot deceive myself, nor you, by so doing. But my duty is to stay with my husband. I loathe him - I despise him ; he is a tyrant ; but he is my husband, and as such I suppose he has a claim upon me, in the eyes of the world, that you have not. But, my darling. love you, and I have come to the conclusión to cast my lot with yours. I will do as you wish me to. I will meet you at the oak tree to-night at ten o'clock. I hope I ■hall-" And here, at the bottom of the page, the letter broke off very abruptly. The other side of the page was entirely blank. "Great Jehosophflt !" That was the awful word that broke from Mr. Jones' lips, when he had finished reading. It was the nearest to swearing of any word he indulged in. If ever he feit justified in using it, he did now. His face was a sight to behold. It was full of anger and surprise, and complete bewilderment. "She loves him, does she ?" he ejaculated, faintly. "And I'm a tyrant, am I? The wretched creature ! She loathes me and despises me, does she ? I'll show her a thing or two. Let me see - ten o'clock, at the oak tree. I'll be there, my dear, aud I'll leara your 'dear Edward' sornething he won't forget. I'll go out tliis blessed moment and get a couple of officers, and we '11 wait for yotu I fancy we'll surprise you a little. Great Jehosophat and she's sctually been deceiving me all the time, and letting Borne other man talk love to her, and coax her to elope witb hira. I can't believe it, and yet I can't doubt it, for here it is in her own writing. I wouldu't have believed it, if I haan 't seen it in black and white. Dear me ! I wonder if I can bear up under the awful blow ? What will folks say ? I shall be ashamed to meet any body. It's awful - awful !" and Mr. Joaes wiped his face with bis handkerchief, and looked the complete picture of grief. Mr. Jones was so 'struck all of a heap,' to use his own expression, by the terrible intelligence, that he didn't stop to reason over the matter. He never once thought that "Dear Edward" couldn' by any possibility have received this let ter, tunee it hadn't been sent. He onl; realized that his wife was going to rui away, and that she was going to meel her lover at ten o'clook. "I'll be there, my lady," eaid Mr. Jones, significantly, putting on his overooat, preparatory to setting out in search of the proper officers. "I'llbe there, anc I'll give your 'dear Edward' something he didn't bargain for. I'll 'Dear Edward' him." About nine o'clock Mr. Jones and a couple of officers carne up the roac stealthily, and secreted themselves behind a clump of bushes near the place where the two main roads crossed each other. "Now you mind what I say," said Mr. Jone. "I'll go for him, and you keep out of the way till I am doue with him. I'll make hun wish he riever thought oi such a thing as toaking love to other men's wives, seeif I don't. I'll pomme] him I I'll trounce him within an inch ofhislife, the oontemptible puppv 1" and Mr. Jones strnck out right and ieft at his visionary rival in a way that made the officers titter. They waited and waited, and kep1 waiting. The ten o'clock train carne in, whistling shrilly. And still no sign of a woman or man for whom they were waiting. Presently Mr. Jones bade th'em listeD, he heard steps down the road. Th uight was dark, and they could not see a rod off. But he was riglit in thinking he heard steps. Someonewaa coming." "It's him, curse him ! mnttered Mr. Jones. "Now you lay low, and mind what I say. Don't come till I teil you to. I dare say I shall half-kill him, 'but you stay off and let me be. i'll take the consequdnces, if I do kill him completely. Oreat Jehosophat ! I just yearu to get my hands on the wretch." "He's close by now, " whisportvl one of the men. "Iseehim," answered Mr. Jones, in an awful whisper, "Here, hold my hat; I m gomg for him, and may the Lord have mercy upon hls souL Accordingly Mr. Jones went for liim." He made a rnsh at the tall black figure coming leisurely up the road. He gave it a punch in the stomach with one fist, and another in the ribs with his other fist, snorting like a wild buil. He was too excited to talk intelligiblv at flrst, The nnsuspeoting recipiënt of snnh au extraordinary greeting aeemed half-inclined to run at first, but, on second thought, seemed to think better of it, and turned upon his assailant. "Take that, and that, and that !' crifld Mr. Jones, who had got so he could utter words a trifle more coherent by tliis time, dealing blows right and left. 'Rur, away with my wife, will you ? You uld villain, I'U learn you to swoop round the Jones family trying to break ït up. Take that- And that ! and- O, great Jehosopbat !" Mr. Jones' tune suddenly changed ; the victim of a husband's righteous wrath had brought his can e to bear upon his foe, and was doing good work with it. 'Smith- Dobson ! hip, help!" ahrieked Jones, as the cañe feil upon his head and shoulders in uumerciful blows, murder ! help !" The officers came to his assistance, and succeedad iu securing the stranger. "I'd like to 'mow what this means ?" he demanded. "I supposed this neighborhood was respectable, but I should think you've all gono crazy, or else turned highway robbers. " "We'11 let you know what it means," cried Jones. "I don't believe you will want to run away with Samuel Jones' wife again." "Is that you, ■ Samuel Jones ?" asked the prisoner. "1 thought your voice sounded kind of familiar before, but you bellowed so I couldn't make it out. Are you insane or itUotio - or what ?" "Lord bless me, if you ain't Uncle Joshua !" said Mr. Jones, faintly. He feit small enough just then to crawl through a hole. "I'm awful sorry this has happencd, but I couldu't help it ; I didn't know it was you. You see, Amelia's feil in love with some fellow, and I carne across a letter tbis afternoon that she had written to him, saying she'd meet him here at ten o'clock, and I got these men to help me, and we waited for him, and I thought you were the man !" "Feil in love with another man, and promised to meet him here at ten o'olock? Stuff and nonsense !" esclaimed Unele Joshua, indignantly. "You were' always the biggest fooi I You're crazy." "But I tpll yon I saw her own letter I" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "I ain't crazy now, but I shouldn't wonder, if I was before long." "You've lost all the sense y u used to have, and tbut wasn't enou_h to brag of," said Uncle Joshua, rather uncomplimentary. "Come along to the house, and we'll ask Amelia wLat it meaus. " Uncle Joshua led the way, with a pain in his stumach, causod by Mr. Jones' energetic attempt to teach his snpposed rival not to meddla with the Jones family, and Mr. Jones followed in his wake, with a sore head and a very black eye. There was a liplit in tlie sitting room. Mrs. Joues wius there. "See here, Amelia," excláimed X Joshua, bursting in like a thuL'1. . storm, "your fooi of a husband say you've feil in love with some one, ant that you wrote lum a lotter saying you'( meet him at ten o'clook to-niglit and run away with him, and he says he's seen the letter. Now I dou't believe a worc of it, but I'd like to have you explaia, i you can." "I never wrote any such thinfir." clared Mrs. Jones. "Yon did !" exclaimed Mr. Jones, "It's no use for you to lie about it, Amelia. You've broke my heart, and you did write that letter. I found it on your desk, and nwre it is. It begins - 'Dear iïdward.'" "O, I know all about it now !" cried Mrs. Jones, beginning to laugh. "O, dear me ! You aee, Laura Wade and I agreed to write a story, and I had got mine half done, and went over to read it to her this afternoon, and wlien I got there I found that I'd lost a page of it. I must have left it on my deuk. It was about a woman who was going to elope - my story was - and she wrote that she would go with her lover, and then, when she thought it all over, concluded to stay at home and do her duty. The page that was missing was the one that had the letter on it that she wrote to her lover. You found it, and thought I was going to run away I O, dear, I never heard of any thing so funny ! O, dear me I" and Mrs. Jones laughed untü the tears ran down her cheeks. "I can't see any thing very funny about it," said Mr. Jones, feeling rather sheepish. "How was I to know that you were writing stories ? You've no business to spend your time in that way." "That's so," growled Uncle Joshna, whose stomach began to feel sore and bruised. "You're a fooi for writing stories, and Jones is a fooi any way. Which was pooreonsolation for Jones. The story of the whole affair leaked out, and he will never hear the last of Mra Jones' eloppment.