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Pith And Point

Pith And Point image
Parent Issue
Day
8
Month
February
Year
1878
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

The first thing in a boot is the last. Mints-meat - "The dollar of our fathers." An end tliat very few banks come to - Divid-end. When is a mother a father ? When she's a sigher. The paragraphists have discovered the best method of heating a street-car : ' ' Carry a woman a block f arther than she wants to go. It will be hot enough." A young man sent 60 cents to a flrm in Michigan that advertised a recipe to prevent bad dreams. Ho received a slip of paper on which was written: " Don't go to sleep. " It's time this fuss about Eve giving Adam somethiDg to eat was stopped. Now, where is the woman who would have the heart to refuse a naked, hungry tramp an apple-core, if he carne to the door looking for food ? They do say that when Santa Claus saw Senator David Davis' stockinghangng up against the side of the house, ho remarked, with a sigh, that he couldu't !avor David to the exclusión of all the 3oys and girls in America. - St. Louis Journal. A lady that would please herself in marrying was warned that her intended, although a good sort of a man, was very singular. " Well," replied the lady, ' if he is very much unlike otlirr men, ie is much more likely to be a good ïusband." The mother-in-law finds a defender in he San Francisco Mail, which says : ' If old Adam had had a mother-in-law ;o look after him and his wife it is more ;han probable that to this very day we might have been able to eaper about in ;he light and airy costume of our flrst arents." Tickle the public and make it grin ! The ruore you tickle the more you'll win ; But teach the public- you'll neyer grow ricll, But live like a beggar and die in a ditch l' Take, O, takc that bill away, ïhat. alas ! long eince was due ! Cali agaiü some other day, When the trees do bud auew - Mebbe, dimly distant spring Some fiaancial change will bring. When you a see a man with a long willow switch in his hand sneak cauiously down to the back fence, and tealthily pull himself up until his head s above the top of it, and then look nxiously, longingly, and with a disap)ointed expression withai, up and down md all around a vast, lifeless and uninjabited scope of vacant lot, without a ign of human life about it, you may afely bet your little pile that thero is a JJlcOftöAKlgtf in Oiak mari's and CKÜMBS FKOM THE BREAKFAST TABLE. There are some things harder to keep han a diary, even- a .$3 pocket knife, 'or instance. The fooi-killer seems to have a hard ïme in comeriog the man who eats a uail a day for thirty days. A woman never so fully realizes her ependence upon man as when she unertakes to sli arpen a lead pencil. The puffcd-up egotist who says a woman cannot do anything as well as a man has never seen her pack a trunk. What the country needs as much as anything else is a 3-cent piece that can't windle a near-sighted man out of 7 cents every time it bobs along. The custom of kicking sewing-maehino and book agents down stairs is a custom that is as much honored in the breech as the observance. Ah - um - Shaksjeare! The man with a stomach as uncomfortable as a tenement house wiil be glad to learn that pop-corn will cure dyspepsia. It don't take over 500 or G0O Dushels for the most stubborn case. Newton did not labor half so hard, with hand and brain, to discover the principie of gravitation, as the ingenious and ambitious compositor labors in overspacing to get a fat paragraph. When a man turns a short corner in a big hurry and makes the discovery somc,vhat abruptly that aüother unfortunate is trying to do the same thing in the opposite direction, he always blurts out aomething about a qualified fooi - and he don't mean the other man. The man who waited until New-Year's day to "swear off," and then went through the affecting ceremony, is beginning to wonder why he did it. Ho may be detected by the plaintive glances ho casts at his favorite hostelries when he passes them, and by the anguish depicted on his countenance whenever he converses at noon with a friend who hasn't done any swearing off.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus