Pith And Point

A bots first bet - Alpha-bet. Anotheb new (k)night - To-morrow evening. Wios, in the languago of flowers, aro lie-locks. Comtanion of the Bath - A swimming instructor. Is is more blessed to give than to receive, but ït's not bo popular. The British lion has been buried nt the foot of the obelisk. Hifl troubles are ronr. - Chicago Times. " Still harping on my daughter.'' - Shakspeare. That's tlie kind of harpin' Hamlet was. - Boston Globe.', Thbre is something noble abont a goat all boarders might imítate. He is not particular what he fceds upon. The Bible says : "Of all things, wisdom is profitable to a man." That's so. A man never calis bis wife a bald-headed oíd woman but once. Thebe Beems tobeadispositionamon the funny fellows of the newspapers to quarrel with one another. Enphony fellows. - New York Herald. It don't require a very imaginativu man to L.ive unntterable thoughts when he's whaoked across tho southern end of his back with a muddy crosswalk. - Bridfeporl Standard. Sócrates never drank. On account of his Xantippe-thy to drink. - Puck. 80 crates of lick her got s'cold he drank hemlock ! Xenophon-nier story we never heard. - Portchester Journal. A news item says that an Englieh traveler in the Holy Land has disoovered Jacob's well. Wo are delighted to hear it. A rumor has been afloat for somo time that Jacob was dead. - OU Cit; Derrick, 11 Mr. Pkbkins íb a íree lover ! Hl not bolieve Such a thiiiíí of the sponse of my Ida.' And at once Mrp. B. bade her chlM to explain ; Which Rhe did as sbe nat down beolde her. " Why, mamma ! it is one of my dear hubby's jok. Which he venture 80 oft with linpunlty; When yon gave him an intVf Rt in me he verred Thathe'd joiuvd the own-Ida community." - Yonkertt Gazftte. MY LUCK. 8ha had come to vielt Nat'w sister, And thore I met her one night ; A counin, I think, of the famtly, And a girl rathcr handsomo and bright. I remember we looked at an album ; And" I told her how much I could gues Of one's character Just from a picture ; " Now witnefls," said I, " my succoss. Hcto'b a photograph of a youog malden, Both pretty and modettt and trae." 8he fairly colored with pleaeure ; II Why that's," sho exclaimed, " eister Suo !" '"But here," I continued, elated, ' Ib the worflt-looking fellow thus f ar ; A stupid, old, eennoless cnrmndgeon." 8ho simply aaid, " That r my papa," - Harvard Crinwon. OBUMBS FBOM THE BBEAKTAST TAJ)LE. Confonnd oleomargfirine, and may iks inventor be smothered in his own grease ! It takes a brave man to f orgive a wrong, nnd a sober one to find the afflnity of a night-key. Solomon in all his glory couldn't stnnd on tip-toe and reach the plume on a drum-major's chapeau. The New York Herald thinks we are a borrowing nation. Well, yes, in the matter of nmbrellas wo'ro not so slow. It may be a little consolation to the pennyless to know that gold is found in overy part of the earth's snrface. Ariso and 'dig. James Freeman Olarke has taken the trouble to write a -book about " How t. Find the Stars. " Don't wait to read it - step on an orange peel. The members of the English Parliament are a slow set. You can't find the sign of a tobáceo stain on the floor anywhere, except under tho reporters' chairs. In French the necessaries of lifo mean pepper and salt. Give Pierre ten pounds of condimente and he can makethehind leg of a frog feed all the sick men in a regiment. From the enormous load of deb' Víctor Emmannel left behind him for Hum to shoulder, it looks very much as though the old man had been trying his hand at running a newspaper. According to recent returns France haB 1,982 important bridges, erected at a cost of nearly $60,000,000. Eight hundred and sixty-one were in existence at tho beginning of the oentnry, 64 were ereoted under Napoleon I., 180 under the Kestoration, 580 under Lonis Philippe, and 297 since 1848. Of the 11 principal bridges only 2 are in Paris.