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A Printer's Case

A Printer's Case image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
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" Yon are a printer ?" said Scully, as a rather good-looking young man was run from the bull-pen into the shoot at the West Side Court. "Yes, sir." " This is your first ' case ?' " " It's the flrst time I ever worked nt a 'case' in this alle.y." " Did yon get drank ?" " The ' boys ' ' set ' it np and gave me the 'Btring.'" " I don 't fathom your remark," said his Honor, putting one hand up to his ear and bonding forward. "They 'proved' the 'matter,' nnd then left me on the ' stono' for ' dead.' " " Impossiblo ! Dead I Deserted you in the snow-drifts ? Or did I get the right glimpse of what yon are trying to show?" "I will ' correct ' it myself, with your permission. " "Do so; go on." " I was soon ' alive,' and when I was ' shoved over' I was ' standing.' " "Young man, yon nárrate in parubles. Cnn't you elucídate?" "I will try, Judge. They put a good ' heading ' on me, and gave me a prominent place at the head of the 'column' " " Young mau, you are getting the eourt muddled. Come to the point." " There's where I carne to at last - a f uil stop. They ' locked me up ' " "Yes, now I underetand." "And planed me down with a mallet " " No w I don't. You won't stick to the mie " " If I had stuck to the rule the ' stick' would have saved me." " I don't get ontothat." "Neither did I. It was I who got off." " Well, go on, go on," said his Honor, tipping back the chair, with the resignation of a man who gives up his seat in a crowded car to a woman. "Tlien they put me in the ' chase ' " "What! chased you? Impossiblel But go on." "And then they got out their shooting-stick- " " Now, look here; do you mean to say ihey had to pull their revolver on you ?" " Not exactly, but they took a mullet. Then they sent me to 'press,' and hero is the ' impreesion ' as you see." "Isthere anything the matter with you, young man ?" " No, sir; only I want to be delivered." "lam told by a friend of yours who has just climbed down from the back of my chair that you have spoken in the technicalities of your profession, and that you swore off on the lst of January, but you were persuaded by a lot of boys that the old year hadn't ended, and so you feil. If I let you go and give you an almanae that contains a list of the eclipses and tells when it will thunder, will you promise never to look in a grocery again; never go out with the gang; never, no, never, sit up all night, and that you will use your eflbrts to the best of your ability to bleach your nose ? Do you swear it ?" "Ido, withitalics."


Old News
Michigan Argus