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The National Bird

The National Bird image
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The Hon. George W. Pcck, in his Fourth of July oration at La Crosse, Wis., said: It muy have been noticed thatthus f ar I have made no allusion tothe American eagle, tho national trade-mark, patent applied for, but it is not that I do not appreciate the position that species of poultry occupies on these occasions. The poet, alluding to the eagle, says: Bird of the broad and fleeting wing, Thy home is high in heaven. This is too true. He is a high old bird, and the committee that selected the eagle as a national emblem shonld have been arrested for disorderly conduct. O, greatbird! You live on mice. You soar aloft on pinions airy, until you see a poor little mouse with one leg broke, and then you swoop down like a ward constable, and run him in. You are a nice old bird for a trade-mark for a nation of héroes, you old coward. You sit on a rock andwatch apeasant woman hanging out clothes, and when she goes in the house to turn the wringer, you, greatbird, emblem of freedom, you representative of the land of the free and home of the brave, you swoop down on the plantation and crush your talons in the quivering flesh of her little baby, take him to your home high in heaven, and piek his innocent little eyes out. You bald-headed old repróbate, you would turn your tail and run at the attack of a bantam rooster. O, eagle, you look well on dress parade, but you are a unanimous coward, and youeatsnakes. You are a fraud, and you were counted in by a vote of 8 to 7. The bird that should have been selected as the emblem of our country, the bird of patience, forbearance, perseverance, and the bird of terror wheii aroused, is the mule. There is no bird that combines more virtues to the square foot than the mule. With the mule emblazoned on our banners, we should be a terror to the foe. We are a nation of uncomplaining hard-workers. We mean to do the fair thing by everybody. We plod along, doing as we would be done by. So does the mule. We as a nation are slow to anger. So is the mule. As a nation we occasionally stick our ears forward and fan nies off our forehead. So does the mule. We allow parties to get on and ride as long as they behave themselves. So does the mule. But when any nation sticks spurs iuto our flanks and tickles our heels with a straw, we come down stiff-legged in front, our ears look to the beautiful beyond, our voice is cut loose, and is still for war, and our subsequent end plays the snare drum on anything that gets in reach o: us, and strikes terror to the hearts of al tyrants. So does the mule. When the country gets older, and Oongress has time to get in its work, the eagle will be superseded as the national trade-mark, and in its place will rise the mule in all his glory, and E pluribus unum, our motto, will be changed to You pluribus mulum, sic, distemper, alapaca.


Old News
Michigan Argus