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Josh Billings' Cough-drops

Josh Billings' Cough-drops image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

The philosopker, Josh Billings, bas placed in the hands of his publishers tüe Farmers' Allminax for 1879. From jfcs pages we are pcrmitted to make the following extracta. Josh is summering at the Glen House, Whito mount-iins, and the trout are growing fewer everv day : Bachelors are alwus a braggin ov their iïeedom ! ! - freedom to darn their own stockings and poultiss their own stiins ! I had rather be a widower once in two years, reglar, than tew be a grunting, old, hair-dyed bachelor only for ninety days. Ambishun tew shino in everything iz a sure way tew put a man's kandell all out. Sucking a whipt silly bulb thru a rhy straw iz a good deal li'ke tricing to liv on buty. Sum people won't beleeve ennything tliey kant prove ; the things I can't prove are the very things i beleave the most. Good examples among the rulers are the best laws they kan enakt. One ov the saddest sights uv all to me iz an old man, poor and deserted, whom i once knew living in ease and luxury. He who spends hiz younger days in disapashun is mortgaging himself tew disseazo and poverty, two inexorable creditois, who are certain tew foreclose at last, and take possession ov the premises. The world owes all its cnorgys and retaement tew luxurys - digging roots for brekfast and going naked for clothes iz the virtewous innocence ov a lazy savage. Prudes are coquets gone to seed. A dandy in luv iz in just about az bad


Old News
Michigan Argus