Little Classics

One morning, on tlieir way to the acadeniy, and while thcy were yet in the city, two eminent disciples of Sócrates, who were cramming for the Junior examination, as tliey walked along, heard the human voice uttering remarks in the female language at the rate of 190 words a minute. The remarks were made in pure, classioal Greek. Both students paused to listen. "Construe," said Appollodorus, with mock sternness. "It's the old girl." "And yonder goes the master," said Appollodorus, as a venerable-looking man, in a linen duster and a helmet-hat, fted swiftly down asido street in the direction of the Peiraic gate, hotly pursued by a cistern-pole with a red-headed woman at the end of it, while the boys of the neighborhood rent the air with shouts of " Whoa, Emma !" and " Soc et tuum !" " The master's good wife," remarked Xenophon, who hastily thrust a translation of his master's lectures in his pocket, as he joined them, "puts me in mind of a brakeman killed in a collision." "Something about she ought to be switched off?" asked Appollodorus. "Naw," replied Xenophon, with great contempt. "Because she's death on the rail." "Yon make my head light," said Plato repro vingly. "Now she puts me more in mind - " " That's right," interrupted Appollodorus, "pilot on ; don't you suppose our master Secrates would like to see a cowcatcher? Now I think - " "You're too eccentric," said Xenophon. "She'll throttle you if she hoars - " "I was going to say," said Plato, affecting not to hear, "that she puts me in mind of the boy who kicked over the bee-hive down on the Agora." "Something about buzz.I allow?"said Appollodorus, who was a little slow. Plato shook his head. "No," said Plato, "because she's tongue to death." "But," Xenophon protested, "that won't materialize ; it's the master that's stung to - " "But it's mistress that's tongue, isn't it?" angrily replied Plato. "Yes," interrupted Appollodorus, "but it isn't the master's tongue that - " But Plato, declaring that Appollodorus had too long a name to argue with, and that such a cold-blooded, logical dissection would,; ruin the best conundrum that ever escaped the dictionary, asked Xenophon to let hirn see his pony a minute, and was soon deeply engaged in his studies, while Appollodorus remarked that there was nothing that would unearth fraud and confuse hypocrisy so quickly as a searching investigating committee. - Burl ing ton Hawk-Eye.